At 23 on the verge of spontanious combustion
there is so much about the world that i question. i have lost faith in everything i knew. i have no faith in a god, of any sort, i have no faith in the justice system, i lost the idiealism of my belief in our political system, and in democracy as a whole. i hate this war, i hate how we treat people who are less fortunate, i hate that i am so sensitive, i hate that i am punished for it. i hate that i hate at all. i have lost faith in myself as a person. i am the most hypocritical person i know. i say i want to change the world, but time is passing me by, and now i doubt that i even care about anyone at all. i think id rather settle down into a cushy suburban life and forget about everyone else. i dont really think i have what it takes to make it to that life.
its getting so big that i cannot get my head around it. its apathy that stems from hopelessness. i hope its a phase. i want to find that something that makes me complete, i dont know if there is a something. there are no excuses for my head being shoved up my ass. the only excuse i have is my own laziness. that needs to change
so im going to bed because i have to work tomorrow, and i have to get my life in order, this is certainly another empty promise i am making to myself. i have let myself down more than anyone else will ever be able to. I wish everything was puppies, sunshine and rainbows....most people who know me think that thats all there is for me, but its only what i can hope for
i feel better, here is a picture
scooby flew away, i think he's gone forever...i hope he can make it in the wild, and i hope he loves the freedom of flying with other birds....but i miss him
its getting so big that i cannot get my head around it. its apathy that stems from hopelessness. i hope its a phase. i want to find that something that makes me complete, i dont know if there is a something. there are no excuses for my head being shoved up my ass. the only excuse i have is my own laziness. that needs to change
so im going to bed because i have to work tomorrow, and i have to get my life in order, this is certainly another empty promise i am making to myself. i have let myself down more than anyone else will ever be able to. I wish everything was puppies, sunshine and rainbows....most people who know me think that thats all there is for me, but its only what i can hope for
i feel better, here is a picture
scooby flew away, i think he's gone forever...i hope he can make it in the wild, and i hope he loves the freedom of flying with other birds....but i miss him