Sisterhood
Today. Today is brought to you by the number 3. By that I mean, holycrap I'm not sure we'll all survive 3. B stayed home with an oozy cold and really, this post should have my bug eyed zombie icon, because that's how I feel. His energy, his ability to make a mess, the amount of times I have to say 'Get your hands out of her face' (meaning his baby sister's face), the lack of 10 minutes in a row to think anything other than children..... ay yi yi. Three. So much more work than two!
But now I'm a HUGE glass of French red in and half a dark chocolate bar down and I'm ready to have a grown up thought. Last night I was chatting with nosce on Facebook and had this idea. It was after reading this article in the Atlantic. I was skeptical at first, but it's full of neat stuff. Basically, I thought to myself: sisterhood is the only way through.
Adam and I talk a lot about how the nuclear family is a lie, even though we are together ALL THE TIME. Like, ALL OF IT. And it's good stuff, most of the time. I am so very, very grateful that while I'm a SAHM I'm not alone. Being at home all day with just the kid/s is isolating, mind-numbing, and frankly? Doesn't feel healthy. What were our ancestors doing? They lived in extended families and small communities. Kids could play with multiple adults supervising. The women did their work together.
With the time difference I'm often cooking dinner while simultaneously trying to sustain a FB chat session. It's awkward, but dear god, it would be so nice to have my mama friends all preparing dinner together. Or one of us cooking and the other holding the baby. I'm not sure I'm up for communal living, and yet..... Why not hang out together and share news while we draw water from the well? Why not talk about our frustration with THREE while folding the laundry? Who needs babysitting when the 12 yr old is playing with the other kids?
Most of my Mama Friends and community comes from LJ. It started with due date communities, a few natural parenting communities. Most of my 'real life' friends don't have kids. Well, loads do but not the ones I've most recently lived near. My closest mama friends all live online. It's a strange community. We can't all get together for milestones: new births, the rare death, birthdays, first steps, babysitting, the works. I used to beat myself up for all the time I spend on line. It's gotten especially intense since moving to Wales. But now I find myself thinking of it as communal time. It's where I get a lot of my spirit fed - either in a religious or intellectual or communal way. Often Adam sits down to dinner and asks me what's new on the internet. And usually he means: you, my online friends.
But now I'm a HUGE glass of French red in and half a dark chocolate bar down and I'm ready to have a grown up thought. Last night I was chatting with nosce on Facebook and had this idea. It was after reading this article in the Atlantic. I was skeptical at first, but it's full of neat stuff. Basically, I thought to myself: sisterhood is the only way through.
Adam and I talk a lot about how the nuclear family is a lie, even though we are together ALL THE TIME. Like, ALL OF IT. And it's good stuff, most of the time. I am so very, very grateful that while I'm a SAHM I'm not alone. Being at home all day with just the kid/s is isolating, mind-numbing, and frankly? Doesn't feel healthy. What were our ancestors doing? They lived in extended families and small communities. Kids could play with multiple adults supervising. The women did their work together.
With the time difference I'm often cooking dinner while simultaneously trying to sustain a FB chat session. It's awkward, but dear god, it would be so nice to have my mama friends all preparing dinner together. Or one of us cooking and the other holding the baby. I'm not sure I'm up for communal living, and yet..... Why not hang out together and share news while we draw water from the well? Why not talk about our frustration with THREE while folding the laundry? Who needs babysitting when the 12 yr old is playing with the other kids?
Most of my Mama Friends and community comes from LJ. It started with due date communities, a few natural parenting communities. Most of my 'real life' friends don't have kids. Well, loads do but not the ones I've most recently lived near. My closest mama friends all live online. It's a strange community. We can't all get together for milestones: new births, the rare death, birthdays, first steps, babysitting, the works. I used to beat myself up for all the time I spend on line. It's gotten especially intense since moving to Wales. But now I find myself thinking of it as communal time. It's where I get a lot of my spirit fed - either in a religious or intellectual or communal way. Often Adam sits down to dinner and asks me what's new on the internet. And usually he means: you, my online friends.