Another Wednesday
I don't know what bothers me more, my freezing extremities, or the fact that no matter wht I do I will not begin tomorrow morning swift as I would hope it to be. The entire day, with the exception of about ten minutes, I have been in a particularly good mood. unfortunately, that ten minutes was filled of this gut lonely feeling I have commonly been getting. I really hate it, I had it all day yesterday, this pathetic abandoned sensation that curls in my stomach and spins in my frontal lobe. Obviously I have gone mad, but I've known that for months now. Of course once again I will not get any saner with this snowcoming to-do-mess-up-my-steady-course-of-thinking-with-needless-stress-and-social-truama-make-my-friends-cry-people-break-up-break-down-make-me-barf-all-over-my-husky-scandanavian-cavewoman-figure-shoved-into-a-gown-self kinda thing. you know, I love to dance, socialize, and have fun. It just blows the blood vessles in my fragile little head over the fact that when it comes to a date, I get no one. absolutely, condensed into little tiny cans of complete whole-hearted nothing! It drives me crazy! How come everytime I actually find a nice guy, he is completely not interested in my exsistence, sickened by my presence, totally infatuated with someone else, or just not into me whatsoever. Okay, yeah, so I kinda like this really nice, sweet, hot , and wonderful guy...I found out he has a date before I even knew there was a snowcoming. Oiy!!!I love making it seem like I don't care, because deep inside, I really, really, really wish I didn't....but nothing ever goes my sweet, pathetic, little way. I 'm constructing myself for heart ache over and over. I just want an answer..... Am I just meant to be lonely?
E. Wald
E. Wald