Supid fucking bitch
So i was all set to come on here and tell you all about the fanfuckingtastic last couple of days i've had, despite being fucking exhausted and hot and worn out and feeling kinda gross, and then i went to the afternoon delight party tonight my friend Julie (not my roommate) hosted
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The thing is, shes not always a bitch, she can be really good... i think what it comes down to is that she's not gonna be a close friend, but someone i see around and hang out with in large groups and whatever, ya know? Which sucks, coz we weren't always like this, and coz this particular issue has caused rifts with her and other friends before, and she still hasn't learned.... Good assessment of her though:) Have you ever considered studying psych?;) she talks about being all tough and strong, and gives off that persona, but she's not... fuck she and i have even had conversations about that, and about how what people let you see isn't always (or even often) what's "real," but she can't seem to apply that outside of herself. i dunno, she jsut confuses me:P And i know i deserve better and she hasn't earned a good opinion from me, but i hate not being able to find good in people, and i maybe am way too forgiving for my own good:P but i think i've finally realized with this one that she's jsut not worthy of me;P
And you know how i feel about still being a virgin- i know too many people who have regrets about thieir first time, and i'm waiting till i know i won't regret it, even if it's not a storybook case:P Plus it's an expression of a level of trust i've been unwilling to give anyone so far;P (Although there are currrently a couple of potentials;))
But thanks again hun:) All this support has been really helpful, coz as much as i know she doesn't know what she's talking about and as much as i can rationalize it and figure it out in my head, it still hurts like a bitch ya know?
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I am the same way...I think there is a good in very person...maybe thats why we get along so well?
Yeah I totally agree with you about the virginity thing.
I sometimes say..."well if I dated him...". Ya know?
And then I go..."well is he worth it? we would really last that long for me not to regret it?".
But I have a hard time trusting people so that is one reason why my virginity is really important to me...I think you might be the same way on some level.
This girl sounds like my friend Ashely who I had major problems with.
I backed off from her but I didn't totally forget about her.
I know how you feel about this...but I love you and I hate to see you in this much pain! *hugs*
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that's probably part of it hun:) We seem to be a lot alike in a lot of ways- personality, vaules, issues, etc:)
yeah, i hear ya on the viginity thing. It not like i'm waiting for marriage or "true love" or anything, but i want to be able to look back and say "you now what, at the time that was the right decision and i don't want to change it".... which i think is why my current "pospects" are guys i'm really good friends with as well as being attracted/flirty/whatever, even if they aren't ones that other people would necessarily think are the best choices;P
"This girl sounds like my friend Ashely who I had major problems with.
I backed off from her but I didn't totally forget about her."
i think that's it exactly- it's not like i don't at all want to be friends with her, i jsut don't want to be close.... it feels really weird for me though, coz i'm not used to that. i've had some friends (even some really really close friends) i completely stopped being friends with and one who was my best friend for most of my life, and we kinda "split up", but never completely and we're "working on our relationship" again (:P), but this is the only one i can think of where i have to keep reminding myself that i don't want to be that close with her coz she'll jsut end up hurting me, although i do really like her and enjoy her company usually:P *rolls eyes* god people are complicated creatures, eh?:P
*hugs back* thanks doll, love you too, and it does hurt, but i'm getting over it:) I'm realizing how much better i do deserve, and have in other friends, and there are a couple of unexpected silver linings from this- i made a new lj friend (bellaluna28), and the ex-best friend i just mentioned and i had a really long, really good chat last night, at her instigation (since my msn name said something about realy needing a couple other specific friends and she asked what was wrong and if she could help and it went on there):) So really, maybe she did me a favor after all, jsut not in the way she thought;P
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Or would it be kinda hopeless?
Its good not to dwell in all of this... as Justin once said..."When shit happens don't wallow in it!" lol...
And its good that you are finding reasons to be happy!
I often to try to do that myself!
And you do deserve better...actually the BEST!
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lol, good advice:P I think i'll make that happy post soon, jsut to distract me and remind me of the good mood i was in:) (plus that way she doesn't win;P) It's funny sometimes how easily i think i could change my mood, but how often i choose to focus on the negative.... it's easier to be mad i guess... plus self-righteous anger can be fun;P
aww, thanks babe, and i'm obviously getting it from most of my other friends, not the least of whom is you:) *hug*
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I know I had the wake up call.
Yes make a happy post!
Believe me it will make you feel better!
When I'm in a really bad mood (like with Jonathan the other day) I only think of the negative.
But then the sun shines and I think of 3 good things to be happy about.
Thats why 3_good_things is a great thing to have on your friends list!
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You had an "i'm a bitch" epiphany?? I find that hard to believe, you're such a sweetheart:)
i shall make that post soon, and i've been talking to people (like you and satansmuse and some other friends) who make me very happy:) And my da, he called too:) so today's going very well:) (oh, and i made a "$10 phrase" and one immediatley following which was "icing on teh cake" as satansmuse and i were commenting back and forth, so my day's complete:P)
hmm, i haerd of that in someone else's entry not long ago and i meant to add it, but i forgot.... i shall go do so now:)
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It woke me up...that I shouldn't be a complete bitch to strangers.
Glad to hear you day went better...
And I've noticed satansmuse can always crack a smile!
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and yeah, she's good like that eh?:) *loves on you and her:)*
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She's great like that! *loves you and her MORE*
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ok ok, she's great;) and i'm not getting into this arguement;P
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And by the looks of that quiz you know me pretty well!
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