yessss I love looking like a raccoon!
It's 9 A.M. and this is the earliest I've been awake since god knows
when...actually since last Friday when I stayed up til 7 just not to
get any breakfast at all at the UC. ANYWAYYYY...I was going to
make an away message on why I'm up but instead I'm just going to write
it here...
bliggity blah, if you read my away message you know that I attempted to write my English paper from 10:30ish til 4:30ish in the morning. You would also know that I succeeded in finishing three paragraphs which all probably make no sense what-so-ever. MMMMMM...times like these make me want to cry even more. ANYWAY. The reason why I stopped writing my paper in bed was the fact that I heard a LOUD booming noise that sounded like it was coming from my basement. (If you know me, you know how paranoid I am or how easily I get scared) First thought that comes into my head is "FUCK, OUR HOUSE IS BEING BROKEN INTO"...which is then followed by "Ok, Therese you didn't get any sleep, you're just paranoid, it's the furnace/house being old". Another couple big booms follow...my mom who's a light sleeper doesn't come to check on me like she usually would if she hears something and that's quite often...I turn off the lights and shrivel into bed with my cell phone in my hand too scared to move because I'm afraid that if I open my door, I'll be attacked. So maybe five minutes pass since the last two big booms I heard and all of a sudden I see police lights outside of my bedroom, now I think for sure that there is some attacker going thru out my neighborhood. I peek out the window and see that there are two police cars with their lights on....one in front of my window (the side of the house) and the other at the corner of my house (the corner of my street). I see 2 more cop cars coming with their lights on and I'm freaking out because it seriously looks as if they're surrounding my fucking house. An ambulance and a firetruck come and I run to the front of my house (the living room) and look out the windows. the firetruck is parked in front of our driveway and the ambulance is in my next door neighbor's driveway. I wake up my mom and Greg, I still cannot believe my mom slept through this shit...we go out onto our driveway. By this time there were two fire trucks along with the red fire department ambulance truck, 4 police cars and an ambulance. It turns out that our neighbor's house two doors down from us is on FIRE. I don't mean, "EEP, our bonfire got a lil out of control". I mean fire through the roof with 4 or 5 firetrucks here by an hour later (6 A.M.). Luckily, our neighbors got out safely, he said that he heard a large boom and that him and his wife ran out...Which leads to me being the dumbass of the year. From our house, if me, my mom, or greg, had just gone to the bathroom or looked through the kitchen window we would've seen orange flames. Instead, I isolated myself in my room hoping that someone would save ME because I thought the booms was someone trying to break into my house. I felt so guilty that I didn't do anything about it, but I'm grateful that they're alright because I know that if they weren't I'd be feeling a lot more shitty than I do right now. The firetrucks, police cars, etc stayed surrounding my house, my next door neighbor's, and of course the house that was on fire until around 8 in the morning...it took them til I think 7 to put it completely out...we talked to the husband and he was calm...something I didn't expect. He was just in his robe walking around his front lawn, putting his newspaper on top of logs as the firemen worked on his house. This couple has to be in their 60s or 70s...my mom was telling me about how much pride they put into landscaping their home just on the outside...How much more for the inside of their home?? To lose most of that, if not all, within two hours...and just to keep yourself together like that is something I'd never be able to do. My mom made a point saying that maybe he's just the type of man to be grateful that him and his wife are alive...I don't know how many people could truly be like that without being upset over their home and other valuables they lost.
Ever since I was little, I always thought of what I would grab if my home caught on fire. Not how I would get out. I used to get so paranoid at times that I'd ask my mom if I could leave some type of bag or suitcase next to the things I'd want to grab quickly in case our house was on fire. It's not like I'd grab CDs and makeup...I'd get all of my memories. My notebooks, my videotapes, and especially my yearbooks and pictures. When I tried to go to sleep about an hour ago, all I could think of was how I don't know what I do if I lost all of those things. I still am debating on whether I'd run straight out or try to salvage as much as possible before putting myself at EXTREME danger. Because I know that sometimes when I'm upset, I just look back at those pictures of high school and summer and hope to fucking god that I'd be as happy as I seemed in those pictures and moments. If I were to lose those....I'd have nothing to look at with nothing to hope for.
On top of everything else...there were 5 helicoptors over our neighborhood so they could show my neighbor's house burning on the news....ummm...I don't really understand what for. They didn't know how the fire was started yet and everyone was alright so it's not like they had to alert family members...I thought it was sort of rude. Then again, maybe this lj entry is too...
bliggity blah, if you read my away message you know that I attempted to write my English paper from 10:30ish til 4:30ish in the morning. You would also know that I succeeded in finishing three paragraphs which all probably make no sense what-so-ever. MMMMMM...times like these make me want to cry even more. ANYWAY. The reason why I stopped writing my paper in bed was the fact that I heard a LOUD booming noise that sounded like it was coming from my basement. (If you know me, you know how paranoid I am or how easily I get scared) First thought that comes into my head is "FUCK, OUR HOUSE IS BEING BROKEN INTO"...which is then followed by "Ok, Therese you didn't get any sleep, you're just paranoid, it's the furnace/house being old". Another couple big booms follow...my mom who's a light sleeper doesn't come to check on me like she usually would if she hears something and that's quite often...I turn off the lights and shrivel into bed with my cell phone in my hand too scared to move because I'm afraid that if I open my door, I'll be attacked. So maybe five minutes pass since the last two big booms I heard and all of a sudden I see police lights outside of my bedroom, now I think for sure that there is some attacker going thru out my neighborhood. I peek out the window and see that there are two police cars with their lights on....one in front of my window (the side of the house) and the other at the corner of my house (the corner of my street). I see 2 more cop cars coming with their lights on and I'm freaking out because it seriously looks as if they're surrounding my fucking house. An ambulance and a firetruck come and I run to the front of my house (the living room) and look out the windows. the firetruck is parked in front of our driveway and the ambulance is in my next door neighbor's driveway. I wake up my mom and Greg, I still cannot believe my mom slept through this shit...we go out onto our driveway. By this time there were two fire trucks along with the red fire department ambulance truck, 4 police cars and an ambulance. It turns out that our neighbor's house two doors down from us is on FIRE. I don't mean, "EEP, our bonfire got a lil out of control". I mean fire through the roof with 4 or 5 firetrucks here by an hour later (6 A.M.). Luckily, our neighbors got out safely, he said that he heard a large boom and that him and his wife ran out...Which leads to me being the dumbass of the year. From our house, if me, my mom, or greg, had just gone to the bathroom or looked through the kitchen window we would've seen orange flames. Instead, I isolated myself in my room hoping that someone would save ME because I thought the booms was someone trying to break into my house. I felt so guilty that I didn't do anything about it, but I'm grateful that they're alright because I know that if they weren't I'd be feeling a lot more shitty than I do right now. The firetrucks, police cars, etc stayed surrounding my house, my next door neighbor's, and of course the house that was on fire until around 8 in the morning...it took them til I think 7 to put it completely out...we talked to the husband and he was calm...something I didn't expect. He was just in his robe walking around his front lawn, putting his newspaper on top of logs as the firemen worked on his house. This couple has to be in their 60s or 70s...my mom was telling me about how much pride they put into landscaping their home just on the outside...How much more for the inside of their home?? To lose most of that, if not all, within two hours...and just to keep yourself together like that is something I'd never be able to do. My mom made a point saying that maybe he's just the type of man to be grateful that him and his wife are alive...I don't know how many people could truly be like that without being upset over their home and other valuables they lost.
Ever since I was little, I always thought of what I would grab if my home caught on fire. Not how I would get out. I used to get so paranoid at times that I'd ask my mom if I could leave some type of bag or suitcase next to the things I'd want to grab quickly in case our house was on fire. It's not like I'd grab CDs and makeup...I'd get all of my memories. My notebooks, my videotapes, and especially my yearbooks and pictures. When I tried to go to sleep about an hour ago, all I could think of was how I don't know what I do if I lost all of those things. I still am debating on whether I'd run straight out or try to salvage as much as possible before putting myself at EXTREME danger. Because I know that sometimes when I'm upset, I just look back at those pictures of high school and summer and hope to fucking god that I'd be as happy as I seemed in those pictures and moments. If I were to lose those....I'd have nothing to look at with nothing to hope for.
On top of everything else...there were 5 helicoptors over our neighborhood so they could show my neighbor's house burning on the news....ummm...I don't really understand what for. They didn't know how the fire was started yet and everyone was alright so it's not like they had to alert family members...I thought it was sort of rude. Then again, maybe this lj entry is too...