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[evrclear]

Should I feel like a piece of me is missing now? Is it just the shock of his being gone again? God, I hate this. I wish I could just have him back here to hug and lay with and kiss and be with and talk with. I know this is something that is meant to be and I know that I'm strong enough to do it but I still hate it. Having him leave this time wasn't any easier at all. Leading up to I knew what to expect but it still didn't help. Having him look me in the eyes and tell me he didn't want to go broke my heart. I started to cry then, I couldn't help it. I didn't want him to go either but I couldn't say it, instead I had to reassure him that it really would be ok and that he'd enjoy. At the airport it just got worse. When it finally came time to hug goodbye is when it hit me that it really was goodbye and it wasn't just a see ya later sorta of goodbye, this was a goodbye I won't see you for 3 or 4 months goodbye. I didn't want to let go but I knew I had too. I wish I could have gone with him... He called me that night (yesterday) to let me know he got there safe. He sounded good and happier to be there so it made me happy to know he's happy but I'm sad I can't be there to enjoy it with him. Instead I'm stuck here in rainy Virginia. I also got to talk to him again today for about 10 mins so I guess it's not all bad, I just hate the fact that our physical touch is gone. Once I'm used to it being gone again I'll be ok...untill then my emoitions will be a little helter skelter so please forgive me.

On a positive note I'm now a senior...good for me I guess. I don't know my final grades yet though. I'm afraid for Alg. 2. I really don't know if I passed it or not, I'm going to be pissed if I have to retake it. Anyways I'm don't really feel like typing anymore, if anyone wants to talk call me or im me.