(no subject)
i finally got to go to synagogue in erie. i've been looking forward to this, and identified the correct time and entrance and people were there at the reform shul. it was an interesting service. i haven't been to a reform shul on friday night before and it was wayyy more hebrew heavy and subdued than i was expecting. also, there was a programmed keyboard with all these tunes for songs. that was cute.
people came up and said hi after and what i hadn't factored into my excitement is how much people might want to sort of figure me out. it makes sense and i understand, but it still felt really weird and i don't think i've really encountered it before in philly. i guess i also wasn't expecting it at the reform shul that has a website that specifically includes jews by choice in describing parts of its community. "are you a student?" no, just visiting family. "has your family lived here long?" yeah, i grew up here...AND change subject. later, someone asked my last name and i just blurt I CONVERTED. like, erie has a relatively small jewish community, i totally get trying to figure out where a new face came from. but it still felt weird, and up until tonight, i really only read about it happening to other people.
but, i still left just really grateful that i was there. the person who lead services (not sure who she was) said that teenagers wrote some of the prayers that are included in their home made siddur, and it was really interesting to learn more about the community through the siddur. like, i think it says something that they specifically said they had a closer english translation of hebrew to aid in learning hebrew--like, weighing that over dealing with any "problematic" language. interesting. plus, miriam's song in the siddur!!!! yesssssss.
i also really like the reform custom of everyone saying mourner's kaddish. i tear up almost every time during that at services, which is actually part of why sometimes i don't go new places because it's at the end and then i'm all cry-y and people want to be chatty and i feel weird and leave. but it wasn't too bad. they had some really nice pre-prayer meditations, including a poem i think my mom would really like.
some people seem to not like being "outed" as a convert. i don't mind that. i'm so happy and appreciative that i converted! i even like having conversations about that stuff, just not used to the fishing. i feel like i should have some more profound and thoughtful things to say on this topic, but that's about it for now.
people came up and said hi after and what i hadn't factored into my excitement is how much people might want to sort of figure me out. it makes sense and i understand, but it still felt really weird and i don't think i've really encountered it before in philly. i guess i also wasn't expecting it at the reform shul that has a website that specifically includes jews by choice in describing parts of its community. "are you a student?" no, just visiting family. "has your family lived here long?" yeah, i grew up here...AND change subject. later, someone asked my last name and i just blurt I CONVERTED. like, erie has a relatively small jewish community, i totally get trying to figure out where a new face came from. but it still felt weird, and up until tonight, i really only read about it happening to other people.
but, i still left just really grateful that i was there. the person who lead services (not sure who she was) said that teenagers wrote some of the prayers that are included in their home made siddur, and it was really interesting to learn more about the community through the siddur. like, i think it says something that they specifically said they had a closer english translation of hebrew to aid in learning hebrew--like, weighing that over dealing with any "problematic" language. interesting. plus, miriam's song in the siddur!!!! yesssssss.
i also really like the reform custom of everyone saying mourner's kaddish. i tear up almost every time during that at services, which is actually part of why sometimes i don't go new places because it's at the end and then i'm all cry-y and people want to be chatty and i feel weird and leave. but it wasn't too bad. they had some really nice pre-prayer meditations, including a poem i think my mom would really like.
some people seem to not like being "outed" as a convert. i don't mind that. i'm so happy and appreciative that i converted! i even like having conversations about that stuff, just not used to the fishing. i feel like i should have some more profound and thoughtful things to say on this topic, but that's about it for now.