And now for the general feel and characterization.
Let me start by saying your imagery is very good - I feel as if I'm actually there with them, and as always, I adore your prose. ♥
Your Hibari is very much like he is in canon, which I like, but this is supposed to be Hibari right before Tsuna is assassinated and the tyl plot begins, right?
For some reason, though, I got the feeling as if this is more like the teenage Hibari rather than his older counterpart during his fight with Reborn, with how easily Reborn was able to provoke him into attacking. Older Hibari would be cooler than that, would likely hold on to the veneer of being bored for longer and not discard it so abruptly.
But he's still stubborn, still so canon that I love him. ♥
For Reborn, I like his exchange with Hibari, his words. However, I'd love to see more description regarding him, especially around the end. He fell just a bit flat to me because of this, and it drags down the sharpness of his conversation and interaction with Hibari.
But for all of that, it's a good read and an interesting peek into what life was like for them before Millefiore screwed absolutely everything over. \o/
And hmm, that's a good point there, about it being TYB!Hibari than TYL. Now that I reread it, I would've pegged it to be Hibari in his early twenties rather than his mid-twenties like he is in TYL canon. He's more sophiscated here than his younger self, yet not as patient as his older self. Hmmm. xDDD
♥
Aaah okay. Descriptions. /takes note of it Thank you bb! ♥
Let me start by saying your imagery is very good - I feel as if I'm actually there with them, and as always, I adore your prose. ♥
Your Hibari is very much like he is in canon, which I like, but this is supposed to be Hibari right before Tsuna is assassinated and the tyl plot begins, right?
For some reason, though, I got the feeling as if this is more like the teenage Hibari rather than his older counterpart during his fight with Reborn, with how easily Reborn was able to provoke him into attacking. Older Hibari would be cooler than that, would likely hold on to the veneer of being bored for longer and not discard it so abruptly.
But he's still stubborn, still so canon that I love him. ♥
For Reborn, I like his exchange with Hibari, his words. However, I'd love to see more description regarding him, especially around the end. He fell just a bit flat to me because of this, and it drags down the sharpness of his conversation and interaction with Hibari.
But for all of that, it's a good read and an interesting peek into what life was like for them before Millefiore screwed absolutely everything over. \o/
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And hmm, that's a good point there, about it being TYB!Hibari than TYL. Now that I reread it, I would've pegged it to be Hibari in his early twenties rather than his mid-twenties like he is in TYL canon. He's more sophiscated here than his younger self, yet not as patient as his older self. Hmmm. xDDD
♥
Aaah okay. Descriptions. /takes note of it Thank you bb! ♥
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