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evilzer0

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Jan 01, 2004 08:33

I havent made any updates in a while...
Mostly because I reformatted and installed XP again and now I dont have my handy program to update this piece of shit.
Ill get it soon enough... But I need to sleep.

BTW -
HAPPY NEW YEAR MOTHERFUCKERS!

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you and leslie anonymous January 2 2004, 21:09:51 UTC

after a lot of reading in the journal i've come to this:
it was twice that you thought about leaving leslie and she begged you to stay b/c it was all going to be ok and it was
she left you once before and came back and everything worked out
she's left you know w/ no intentions of coming back.

maybe, despite all the love you two share she realizes that if there is that much doubt about whether or not to be together, you 2 shouldn't be together.

love is a great thing .. a very great thing .. it can also result in a world of hurt .. after 16 months w/ a guy we broke up b/c it was a difficult time then 2 months later we got back together and now it's been 4 years and 2 months .. not bad .. so trust me, i know the hurt

everyone will love in their life, maybe it's time for you to cry your last tears for her and start looking for somebody that you will never think of leaving and that will never think of leaving you.

i also have a very close friend who had this boyfriend that she dated a lil over a year and then they broke up b/c they were in 2 different worlds (you know what i mean) but a few years 18 months later they got back together only to realize it still wasn't the best time b/c too many obstacles and then finally 3 years later they got together and married a last month. that is true love. but while they weren't together they dated others and fell in love with others. get out there, fall in love again, and if it's meant to be leslie will come back to you. heck, maybe if she sees you moving on she'll realize what she is missing. no more tears :) cherish those memories :)

Happy New Year :)

*J

Re: you and leslie evilzer0 January 2 2004, 21:12:52 UTC

There are things that have to be done first. Things I need to do, and things I need to ask. from her and others. When I get at least that I can.

Re: you and leslie anonymous January 3 2004, 06:13:07 UTC

Maybe trying writing her a REAL letter and telling her you need some answers before you can move on .. tell her she can either write you back or agree to meet you in a place where both of you would feel comfortable :) Best of luck...*J

Re: you and leslie evilzer0 January 3 2004, 10:46:57 UTC

its never that easy with her... Id write a real letter, but she wouldnt respond... id ask her to meet me somplace, and then she would change her mind or give an excuse... she has no more excuses... but she always finds a way out of everything. im not giving up... and ill do whatever it takes.

Re: you and leslie anonymous January 3 2004, 14:51:04 UTC

Maybe though if she sees that you have stopped pursuing her she'll realize what she is missing .. i mean i know you 2 aren't together right now and she is bascially ignoring you, but maybe if you just ignored her too and gave her a taste of her own action she'll be like "I miss him .. now that I don't hear from him I realize how much I miss him"

Re: you and leslie evilzer0 January 3 2004, 15:34:43 UTC

Ill reply later. I gotta go to work now.

Re: you and leslie evilzer0 January 4 2004, 12:21:17 UTC

This isnt a game with rules or ways to play. That may work for one couple, but, she DOES read this. She IS smart (though I cant say on some things/decisions...) She wont miss me because she is the kind of person who sees a void and fills it with something else. In her mind, why look at what WAS there when something IS there. She cant and wont miss me when she has that hole inside herself filled with something/someone else. And Japan is just a big excuse/escape from all the problems. ITs not her dream and thats why shes going... its OUR dream... and she left me behind.

Re: you and leslie anonymous January 4 2004, 14:06:29 UTC

I guess I don't know what else to tell you, b/c it sounds like you have tried various things and it is just not working. That sucks that she'd go to Japan w/o you since it was something the 2 of you planned together. Since she does read this:
*Leslie-I know you don't want to talk to him or anything like that, but maybe if you did, it would resolve a bunch of things and then he can be happy like you are. Maybe you'll get back together or maybe you'll realize you made the right decision but you can point things out to him to make him realize that for now being apart is the right decision.

I'm sorry you think what I suggested was a game, it's just that obviously whatever YOU are doing is not working so I'm trying to advise with other help.

Re: you and leslie evilzer0 January 4 2004, 20:41:16 UTC

I dont think its a game. I meant that as, it seems like its "if she does this, you do this to counter that." The thing that just gets me, Is that there is one way everyone knows will work... everyone but her. And thats talking.

Re: you and leslie anonymous January 5 2004, 03:55:11 UTC

Yes, she should be mature and smart enough to realize that COMMUNICATING is the best way to work things out. But you can't just make her talk. Have you tried the direct approach and just showed up at her house?

Re: you and leslie evilzer0 January 8 2004, 11:56:09 UTC

I made a reply to this but I guess LJ didnt take it...
Show up at her house... No.
Why? So she can call me a stalker... and make thigns worse...
I wont do that. I wont approach her at her job either. Really, all I have is email, and seeing her at gatherings...
Friends... fuck that.
And EVERYONE but her sees that COMMUNICATING WORKS.
I think she sees it... but I dont know why shes running...
I think I do, but Ive learned that thinking I know the answers only gets me into more and more trouble.

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