PokéSuJu? (2/?)
Title: PokéSuJu? (2/?)
Pairing: KyuMi, EunHae, and whatever else I feel like throwing in there
Rating: T for coarse language and adult-situations
Genre: Crack, romance, and fail!Humor
Summary: Who knew playing Pokémon could turn you into one? Not SuJu.
Author’s Crap: Forgive me for this pile of feces I’ve written… It just gets weirder and weirder… I’m even confused as to how I’m gonna pull this off…
A figure stirred beside the screaming rodent.
“… Ngh… Kui Xian?” Zhou Mi lifted his head slowly. “…Hmm… Why are you awake?”
“Zhou M-“ The words died on his lips as he looked as his Chinese boyfriend lifted himself from the covers. “Zhou Mi…”
“Yes, Kui Xian?” He wasn’t fully awake yet either.
“Mi, open your eyes…” Kyuhyun tried to say it as calmly as he could.
“Okaay?” He opened his eyes and burst out laughing.
Kyuhyun stood on his bed as a Pikachu. He was yellow with the ears and the tail to boot. Zhou Mi took another look at his boyfriend before cracking up laughing again.
“It’s not funny, Mi!!!” Kyuhyun exclaimed cheeks charging with electricity. “And, look at yourself!!!”
He grabbed his cell phone with his two paws and took a picture of his boyfriend. Zhou Mi wiped a tear from his eye with a goldenrod coloured paw. He sat up fully and took the phone from his boyfriend. He was still chuckling softly when he saw the picture in the phone.
“What the hell?!!!!!” He exclaimed in Chinese. “How--?”
He stood up completely and patted himself down. He had some kind of way turned into a Sandshrew. His body was a greenish hew of goldenrod and his hands had been turned into pads. He had big black eyes and a tail. He jumped up and ran all around the tiny space on the bed.
He continued to freak out as Kyuhyun just sat there and watched him. He knew Zhou Mi’s freak out routines. He’d eventually stop because he was tired. Luckily, it didn’t take long for him to collapse back onto the bed and calm down a little.
“Mi, listen to me. Calmly, please.” Kyuhyun had walked over to his boyfriend, grabbed his face and made him look at him. “I don’t know how we got like this but, we’ve been turned into Pokémon. Gawd, that sounds weird…”
Then suddenly, they heard more screaming down the hall.
“That’s Sungmin!” Kyuhyun noted and pulled his boyfriend to his feet. “Let’s go see what happened!”
They jumped off the bed and ran on all fours to his and Sungmin’s shared room. When they got to the room, they saw a little black mouse with large fiery quills on its back slapping awake a greenish-blue bear.
“Sungmin?” Kyuhyun asked confusedly.
The fire rat turned around to face the Pikachu in his doorway and his eyes went wide.
“K-kyuhyun?” Sungmin choked out and then looked at Zhou Mi. “Mi?”
“Sungmin, don’t freak out but-“ Kyuhyun began but was interrupted by Sungmin’s scream.
“You’re a Pikachu, Mi’s a Sandshrew, Shindong’s a Munchlax, and I’m a freakin’ Cyndaquil.” Sungmin said before the quills on his back flared up. “You’re not really convincing me as to why I’m not supposed to freak out, Kyu!”
“Shindong’s a Munchlax? No freakin’ way!” Zhou Mi began laughing again.
“Mimi, shut up!!! Minnie, just listen to me.” Kyuhyun placed his hands up in defense. “But first, wake Shindong. He needs to hear this too.”
“Been workin’ on that for a few minutes now. He’s out cold.” Sungmin said pointing at the sleeping Munchlax.
“Have you tried using your powers?” Kyuhyun asked.
“No, I was in too much shock.” Sungmin said still not comfortable with his current form.
“Let me try.” Kyuhyun walked over to the Munchlax and gave him a light thundershock.
The Munchlax yelped in pain and jumped to its feet.
“What… the hell, Minnie?” Shindong asked rubbing his stomach.
“It wasn’t me. It was PikaKyu.” Sungmin pointed to the Pikachu.
Kyuhyun’s cheeks bristled with sparks as Sungmin backed away slightly.
“Hyung, if you ever call me that again, I’ll shock you into next year.” Kyuhyun threatened then turned his attention to Shindong who looked at the Pikachu with a confused look. “Yes, Shindong, I’m a Pikachu, Zhou Mi’s Sandshrew, and Sungmin’s a Cyndaquil. You are a Munchlax.”
“This is very confusing… I’m gonna go back to sleep now where everything makes sense…” Shindong said before beginning to lie back down.
He didn’t get very far before Kyuhyun send another thundershock his way. He sat back up immediately.
“Not so fast, hyung. We need to go check on the others.” Kyuhyun said.
“Chances are they’re all Pokémon too.” Zhou Mi added agreeing with his lover.
“We should get going.” Sungmin said pulling the Munchlax to his feet.
“Minnie, I don’t wanna…” Shindong whined standing up against his will.
They all headed out into the hall when they heard Ryeowook’s shrill scream ring through the apartment. They immediately ran to Yesung and his room and saw why he was screaming.
“Hyung?! Hyung!” A small ball of pink sat next to a small green turtle with a leaf on its head. “Yesung!”
“Yes, I’m right here, Wookie…” Yesung tiredly nuzzled up to the ball of pink.
“Wookie hyung, Yesung hyung?” Kyuhyun called out to the pair.
“Kyuhyun! The big pink ball of fluff called to him.
Both Sungmin and Zhou Mi burst out laughing at the sight of the big pink ball. Ryeowook was getting a little bit mad and opened his mouth to start singing.
“No! Wookie hyung! Don’t sing!!!!” Kyuhyun exclaimed before the Jigglypuff could get a single note out. “Please, calm down and let’s all talk about this.”
The Turtwig on the bed slowly made its way to the floor and sat next to the Pikachu. The Jigglypuff followed suit glaring daggers at Sungmin and Zhou Mi. Shindong the Munchlax had curled up by the doorframe and slept. Kyuhyun rolled his eyes before using thundershock on his sleeping hyung. Shindong woke up immediately and glared at Kyuhyun.
“Now that I have your attention, we are all Pokémon now.” Kyuhyun said.
“Well, that’s kinda obvious Kyu. I just really want to know how I became one.” Yesung said nonchalantly.
“Now that I think about it, I am actually kinda liking this Pokémon thing.” Ryeowook said as Sungmin and Zhou Mi rolled him around. “Whee!”
Kyuhyun shook his head before using a more powerful thundershock on all of them. All except Zhou Mi were affected.
“Stop playing around, hyungs!” Kyuhyun ordered. “We still have to check on the others!!!”
“You didn’t have to shock us. Geez…” Sungmin grumbled.
“You can’t hurt me!!!” Zhou Mi teased. “I’m invincible!”
“Keep that up, Mi…” Kyuhyun replied testily. “And you’ll be invincible alone.”
Zhou Mi shut up completely and began to walk out of the room to Eunhyuk’s and Donghae’s room. The rest of the Pokémon followed suit and chatted along the way
“So, hyung?” Sungmin asked. “What’s it like being a Turtwig?”
“I think this is how Ddangkoma feels…” Yesung answered honestly. “It feels slow…”
“Hey, hyung!” Ryeowook had just gotten a great idea. “Maybe you can talk to him now seeing as how you’re both turtles!”
“He has a point.” Kyuhyun nodded as they padded their way in front of the EunHae door. “Alright, you guys ready?”
They all pushed the slightly ajar door open to find the EunHae couple sitting on the bed. A purple monkey sat with a large glass bowl filled with water and a big red fish swimming around in it.
“Hyung?” Kyuhyun asked as the rest of the Pokémon filed in.
“Oh, hi Kyuhyun-ah!” Donghae called from the fishbowl.
Eunhyuk waved smiling at the rest of friends gathered in his doorway.
“You’re all Pokémon too, huh?” Eunhyuk said looking at his little fishy swimming in his bowl.
“Huh? Why aren’t you freaking out?” Shindong asked.
“Yeah, don’t you know that you’re Pokémon now?” Zhou Mi asked curling up into a ball and rolling around.
“I already did that. And besides, I’m a monkey. I’m not complaining. Donghae’s a fish, he’s not complaining either.” The Aipom said picking up the bowl with the Magikarp in it and jumping down from the bed.
“Oookay… That was easier than I thought it would be…” Kyuhyun said happily. “Let’s go and check on everyone else.”
Kyuhyun was the first to exit the room and everyone else flooded out into the hallway. They made their way to their leader’s room. Kyuhyun tried to reach the door but couldn’t.
“Dammit…” Kyuhyun said frustrated. “I can’t reach the knob…”
“I can get it.” Eunhyuk put down the fishbowl and stretched a long limb to the door and pushed it open.
The rest of the Pokémon came into the room where they saw a discarded Twister board, and messy bedspreads. However, the most surprising sight they saw was the flaming horse, large cat, an unidentifiable shape beneath the covers, a small green lizard thing next to it. There was a small blue alligator on the floor too. They were all still sleeping and Kyuhyun needed to wake them up.
“I can’t wake them up this time, because of that Totodile.” PikaKyu turned to the rest of his friends. “Wookie, can you do it?”
“Okay!” Ryeowook bounced up onto the desk; he took a deep breath and began to sing in a loud voice.
“His Uproar attack is really loud!” Sungmin exclaimed as he and the others covered their ears to avoid the sound.
When Ryeowook finished, the sleeping Pokémon on the bed all mumbled and groaned as they woke up. The first to wake up was Siwon who saw the big pink Pokémon sitting on the desk.
“Um… Why is there a Jigglypuff on that desk? I must be really tired…” He closed his eyes and then opened them once more to see if the image was gone.
Instead it remained and cocked its head to the side. Siwon’s eyes widened. He scrambled up against the wall. This action caused the large cat beside him to stir and glare at him.
“Siwon, shut up and go back to sleep…” Heechul scolded.
“No, hyung… You don’t understand.” Siwon pointed a hoof at the pink ball. “There’s a Jigglypuff on that desk…”
Heechul sat up fully now and glared at Siwon even harder.
“Siwon, how many times have I told you, when they pass it around, put it down?” Heechul stared at him before blinking and seeing a large off-white pony with a flaming mane next to him.
“I’m not kidding, hyung!” Siwon flailed frantically. “There’s really a Jigglypuff in the room!!! Look at it!!!”
It wasn’t until the Jigglypuff spoke that they realized what was going on.
“Hey, hyungs!” Ryeowook waved with his microphone marker smiling.
Siwon and Heechul looked at each other before screaming. Heechul rose up on all fours and Siwon scrambled to the floor trying to stand in that tiny cramped room. He wasn’t successful. He fell to the floor as Heechul the Persian pointed at him.
“Why are you a Ponyta?!!!” He yelled still standing on the bed.
“I don’t know!!! Why are you a Persian?!!!” Siwon yelled back even louder.
“Why are you both yelling?!” Said a really groggy voice. “Shut up and go back to sleep.”
The voice belonged to a small green lizard-like Pokémon that sat up and rubbed its eyes sleepily. Kyuhyun looked at the green Pokémon before calling out to it.
“Hyung? Wake up.” Kyuhyun said leaping up onto the bed and staring at the green Pokémon.
The green Pokémon was rugged looking, it had really rough skin and it had black lines under its eyes.
“Kyuhyun? What are you doing here?” He was still rubbing his eyes and when he stopped, his eyes fixed themselves on the small yellow rodent on his bed. “There’s a Pikachu on my bed… I bet Sungmin put all these stuffed animals in my room as a joke for betting on him.”
He reached for the Pikachu and picked it up.
“This one’s pretty heavy.” He noted.
“That’s because I’m a real Pikachu! Put me down, hyung!” Kyuhyun waved and kicked.
“Ah!” He dropped it in shock and looked at the Pikachu with a confused look. “W-why are you a Pikachu? Why are all you guys Pokémon?! What the hell’s goin’ on?!”
“That’s what we’re trying to find out! Please calm down!” Kyuhyun spoke offering up his hands in a gesture of peace. “Now, please wake up Teukie hyung and Henry.”
The Ponyta went over to the Totodile that slept soundly on the floor and Kangin rolled over to poke at Leeteuk’s back.
“Kangin… Shtop poking me…” He said sleepily.
Henry sat up and rubbed his eyes before taking in the scene before him. It looked like the inside of a “Look And Find Pokémon” book. He froze before reacting in the best way he knew possible.
“What the hell?” He swore in English. “Why are there so many Pokémon in here?!”
“We don’t know, just try to be calm.” Siwon said reassuringly but really, he didn’t know who he was trying to convince more.
“I’m just gonna go to Canada where everything makes sense and there are no Pokémon talking to me.” Henry stood up to go get his cell phone and phone home. That was when he noticed that he was waaay shorter than usual and could not reach his phone which was on the desk that Jigglypuff sat on.
“Okay, why can’t I reach the desk?” He angrily asked before he looked down and saw his little blue feet and little blue legs. “And why in God’s name am I blue?”
“No using the Lord’s name in vain! And you’re a Totodile!” Siwon scolded.
“Yup, I’m moving back to Canada.” He said jumping and trying to reach the desk.
“Henry, you ARE a Pokémon.” Ryeowook tried.
“Nope, I’m going back to Canada where I’m a human.” He kept trying to reach it before Sungmin the Cyndaquil used Ember effectively scaring him into staying still.
“You. ARE. A. Pokémon.” He said slowly.
Henry the Totodile sat back on his haunches and stared at the picture in front of him.
“Okay, so why, why am I a Pokémon? Why are you all Pokémon?” He asked calming down.
“Why is who a Pokémon?” A really groggy voice called from the bed.
*~~~~~~~~
The end of chapter two!!! I hope this is to you guys’ liking! I’m having fun writing it and I wanna know if you guys are having fun reading it!!!!