[text so that freaking Prussia can understand him]

[eviltriumphs]

I'M SO GOD DAMN SICK OF YOU STUPID-FACED IDIOT AMERICANS SHOOTING ME EVERY TIME I SHOVE SOMEONE OUT A WINDOW OR KIDNAP A COUNTRY!!! I NEVER EVEN GOT TO FINISH MY EPIC BATTLE WITH HIM BECAUSE OF THAT DAMN BOTTLE!!

Stupid magic burst. Stupid prideful fatty America. I swear, I'm going to smother every one of his cities with a smog that will sear the

Comments

[Text]

[2cool4europe]

WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU FIGHTING AMERICA?! YOU DON'T HAVE AN HEIR YET, YOU IDIOT! THIS REFLECTS BADLY ON THE MONARCHY! YOU PULLING STUPID SHIT LIKE THIS IS GIVING THE LIBERALS POWER!

While you were out playing with America, I've been busy defending my vital regions! Russia is here! RUSSIA! He's insane! He broke my arm with a faucet! WHO THE FUCK BREAKS PEOPLE'S ARMS WITH A FAUCET?!

[Text]

[eviltriumphs]

BECAUSE I'M NOT SOME WORTHLESS MEATBAG OF A KING THAT JUST SITS ON HIS ASS WHILE HIS COUNTRY GOES TO WAR!! AND AS A MATTER OF FACT, I DO HAVE AN HEIR!!! It's not by strictly bloodline, but it's an evil-soul-aura thing; it's like a bloodline, but better. AND EVEN IF I DIED, WHICH I WON'T, I'D JUST BE REINCARNATED AGAIN YOU POTATO-BRAIN!! I CAN BE MY OWN GOD DAMN HEIR!! That's how Evil Kingship works.

Playing?!?! He shot me!! I lit him on fire and tore him up and cursed him with inability to ever be a Stealthy Hero! HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THAT GUY'S SHADOW?! It was the third most horrifying experience of my life! I can still taste the liberty, ugh.

...He broke your arm with a faucet? Hmph, now he's an evil bastard, hehehe. Oh, right, is your damn arm fixed yet?

And is there a reason why you two practically have the same name?

[Text]

[2cool4europe]

I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN USE YOUR CRAZY HEATHEN MAGICS TO REINCARNATE YOURSELF! NOR DO I CARE THAT YOU'RE ABLE TO CREATE FUCKED UP HEIRS FROM YOUR AURA SHIT!! STOP PUTTING YOURSELF INTO DANGEROUS SITUATIONS!

America is the epitome of liberalism! That's what will happen to me if the liberals win! That's the result of Democracy! If you hated his shadow, just imagine the whole world engulfed in that liberty! Everyone will have the right to vote! People will be seen as equals! Human rights! Fucking Bolshevism everywhere! EVERYWHERE!

And no, I don't rely on Satanic powers, so my arm isn't healed. I've got a splint to set it... Should be healed in a month or two....

AND WE DON'T HAVE THE SAME NAME. RUSSIA IS NOTHING LIKE PRUSSIA!

[Text]

[eviltriumphs]

DANGEROUS SITUATIONS?! WE'RE LIVING IN AN APOCALYPTIC WASTELAND--one I didn't create, damn it--WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? SIT ON MY ASS ALL DAY IN SOME STUFFY ROOM?! I DID THAT FOR THREE FUCKING CENTURIES, I'M NOT BEING THAT IDLE EVER AGAIN!!! It's bad enough I had to endure that same torture for ten days with that happy bastard with me!!

Hence why I tried to obliterate him. Or at the very least, scar him enough to have a negative impact on his citizen and anyone who is dumb enough to revere him. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE A LIBERAL. THE LIBERALS WON'T OVERTHROW YOU. I'LL JUST THROW THEM IN A CAVE OR SOMETHING.

Two months?! How the hell do you expect to run around with your arm bandaged up for two months?! Slave apparently is useful enough to have healing magic again and has some nuts. You're getting your arm fixed if I have to restrain you to do it!!

YOU'RE NAMES ARE ONE LETTER APART. SUBTRACT A "P" FROM YOUR NAME, AND YOU HAVE HIS.

[Text]

[2cool4europe]

YES. I WANT YOU TO SIT ON YOUR ASS. THEN THERE’S NO WAY YOU COULD PULL SOME IDIOTIC MOVES AND RUIN MY NAME! I’M NOT GOING TO WASTE TIME OR RESOURCES IN BAILING YOU OUT OF EVERY PROBLEM YOU GET YOURSELF INTO. GO FIND A BOOK TO READ OR ENLIGHTMENT IDEALS TO INVEST YOUR TIME IN. FUCK, PICK UP AN INSTRUMENT OR SOMETHING. JUST STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY AND OUT OF HARM’S WAY.

SEE? THIS IS WHY YOU’RE NOT FIT TO BE MY KING. THROWING LIBERALS INTO CAVES?! ARE YOU FROM THE 10TH CENTURY?! THAT’S THE STUPIDEST IDEA I HAVE EVER HEARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. And I have heard some pretty fucking stupid ideas. I SHOULD PUNCH YOU FACE NOW FOR JUST SUGGESTING THAT!

I am not using heathen magics for healing.

DON’T SUBTRACT THE “P” FROM MY NAME, THEN!

[Text]

[eviltriumphs]

I DON'T NEED YOU TO BAIL ME OUT OF ANYTHING, YOU INSOLENT MORON. AND I'M NOT GOING TO READ SOME STUPID SMELLY OLD BOOK WHILE YOU'RE OUT GETTING BLOWN UP!!! OR HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT?! Let's see, how many times have I died in this lifetime or, for that matter, in this city? Oh, that's right, none. How many times have you died? ONE TOO MANY, SAUSAGE FACE!! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF COUNTRY GETS ITS ARM BROKEN, ANYWAY?!

I KNOW YOU'RE STUPID, BUT ARE YOU REALLY THAT IGNORANT?! I'VE BEEN IN A BOTTLE FOR THREE CENTURIES. I don't know if it's the tenth century but I don't care about your new Laws and Classifications or Mannerisms or anything!! I DON'T CARE. I DON'T. IT WOULD SOLVE YOUR LIBERAL PROBLEM, IT WOULD BE AN ABSOLUTELY ATROCIOUS THING FOR ME TO DO, AND IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS.

Yes you are.

THAT DOESN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!

[Text]

[2cool4europe]

YOU WERE STUCK IN A BOTTLE FOR TEN DAYS! WITH THE ENEMY, NO LESS! IF I WASN’T BUSY FIGHTING RUSSIA AND HUNGARY, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MY DUTY TO SAVE YOU! I’ll give you competence points for getting yourself free; HOWEVER, THIS DOESN’T JUSTIFY THE FACT THAT YOU WERE TRAPPED IN A GODDAMNED BOTTLE. How the fuck did you even get in there, anyways? DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE A SHAPE-SHIFTING DEMON, TOO! I should just burn you at the stake Fucking Pope needs to mandate another crusade or some shit.

THROWING LIBERALS INTO A CAVE WOULDN’T DO ANYTHING! YOU TRY THEM FOR POLITICAL TREASON, THEN SENTENCE THEM TO DEATH! IT’S FAR MORE EFFECTIVE THAN THROWING PEOPLE INTO CAVES! Besides, chopping off liberal heads is fucking fun. That’s what those dissenters deserve!

No.

Also, your question was stupid. It doesn’t need to be answered.