90% of what I know about Jewish culture, I learnt from the jokes
It occurs to me that we are in the Days of Repentance, smack between two Jewish holidays/holy days, so in the spirit of things I figured I should post a couple jokes.
("HOW IS CRACKING JOKES ANYTHING LIKE REPENTANCE" shhhhhh 乖乖)
A seasonal one:
"Tell me, Rabbi, why is it that four questions are asked on Passover, but no questions on Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah?"
"It's very simple: to see a Jew wail and moan is not unusual and raises no questions, but to see a Jew happy--that demands an explanation!"
And another one just because it made me roflmao (don't drink anything while reading this one):
A rabbi, whose son announced that he intended to convert to Christianity, locked himself in the synagogue and began a fast, hoping that the Almighty would intercede. After eight days of fasting, when his head began to swim and visions danced before his eyes, an eerie light illuminated the synagogue. There, in the centre of the glow, was an indescribable Something. There was no question about it. As far as the rabbi was concerned, he was in the presence of the Most High.
"O blessed God," wept the distraught rabbi, "shed your compassion upon me and help me in this moment of sorrow. My son is about to turn Christian!"
And from the holy illumination, God's mournful voice answered, "Your son!"
("HOW IS CRACKING JOKES ANYTHING LIKE REPENTANCE" shhhhhh 乖乖)
A seasonal one:
"Tell me, Rabbi, why is it that four questions are asked on Passover, but no questions on Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah?"
"It's very simple: to see a Jew wail and moan is not unusual and raises no questions, but to see a Jew happy--that demands an explanation!"
And another one just because it made me roflmao (don't drink anything while reading this one):
A rabbi, whose son announced that he intended to convert to Christianity, locked himself in the synagogue and began a fast, hoping that the Almighty would intercede. After eight days of fasting, when his head began to swim and visions danced before his eyes, an eerie light illuminated the synagogue. There, in the centre of the glow, was an indescribable Something. There was no question about it. As far as the rabbi was concerned, he was in the presence of the Most High.
"O blessed God," wept the distraught rabbi, "shed your compassion upon me and help me in this moment of sorrow. My son is about to turn Christian!"
And from the holy illumination, God's mournful voice answered, "Your son!"