Times change...people change...but morals don't
Holy crap guys...I just went through and read my entire xanga...from the start...until now.
So much has changed..and it's really weird. I've changed majorily in who I am and how I act. Some of that good...and some of that bad. Things aren't like they used to be and it's sad.
One entry was about me finally being home from the hospital...and I had so many comments on there saying soooo many comforting things. It makes me wonder if I would get the samething if I had just come out of the hospital today. I probably wouldn't...and I don't like that.
I'm going back and reading comments from Ruthy and Vannah. We used to be soooo close and now we barely ever see each other. Ruthy and Vannah became close...but I fell out of the picture...for understandable reasons.
I was so depressed in so many of those entries...and I had so many people trying to help me...that cared for me...that wanted the best for me, but I continued to be depressed. And now...I can't figure out for the life of me...what more I wanted. I had everything...I had friends that loved me...and were there for me...day and night. And now...they're gone.
I've changed so much...and I've known that for the longest time. I used to be so faithful in God...I used to be fucken straight edge!! What the hell happened to me?! I mean...morals don't change...people do. What the fuck made me change and why...
I want to be that person again...I want to have my friends back. I had everything then...but I was depressed...then I got over my depression...changed...and lost it all. I lost myself...I lost my friends...I lost my faith...
There were so many good memories in those entries/comments. I want those back...I want to laugh like I did a year ago. I want to recieve comments and text messages and voice mails...and everything else I used to get from the people I love the most...saying what puts a smile on my face quicker than my dad drunkenly falling down the stairs. Hahaha...I still love those same people...but do they love me?
So much has changed..and it's really weird. I've changed majorily in who I am and how I act. Some of that good...and some of that bad. Things aren't like they used to be and it's sad.
One entry was about me finally being home from the hospital...and I had so many comments on there saying soooo many comforting things. It makes me wonder if I would get the samething if I had just come out of the hospital today. I probably wouldn't...and I don't like that.
I'm going back and reading comments from Ruthy and Vannah. We used to be soooo close and now we barely ever see each other. Ruthy and Vannah became close...but I fell out of the picture...for understandable reasons.
I was so depressed in so many of those entries...and I had so many people trying to help me...that cared for me...that wanted the best for me, but I continued to be depressed. And now...I can't figure out for the life of me...what more I wanted. I had everything...I had friends that loved me...and were there for me...day and night. And now...they're gone.
I've changed so much...and I've known that for the longest time. I used to be so faithful in God...I used to be fucken straight edge!! What the hell happened to me?! I mean...morals don't change...people do. What the fuck made me change and why...
I want to be that person again...I want to have my friends back. I had everything then...but I was depressed...then I got over my depression...changed...and lost it all. I lost myself...I lost my friends...I lost my faith...
There were so many good memories in those entries/comments. I want those back...I want to laugh like I did a year ago. I want to recieve comments and text messages and voice mails...and everything else I used to get from the people I love the most...saying what puts a smile on my face quicker than my dad drunkenly falling down the stairs. Hahaha...I still love those same people...but do they love me?