Don't worry daddy, the antioxidents will protect me
I was on the facebook today, and i was looking at my rankings in the "compare me" application. My best ranking currently is "best hair" Facebook says i'm 4th out of the 50+ friends that are on there. And i never really thought my hair was was best. i just thought it was normal or ordinary. Weird.
Does anyone want to make a hilarious TV show? I got that urge today. Well to tell you the truth i would love to write/act in a tv comedy. I may just be in that mood, like the post i had a long ass time ago about having a sketch comedy group. That would be cool as well. Maybe I'm just wondering if someone can just drop some money on me and i'll do things that i like for the rest of my life. That would be cool.
I've been throwing my writings at friends just to get opinions on what i should work on and what is good and they are slowly but surely being read. I did get positive stuff from from the first thing 2 of my friends of read. So in an act of craziness, i'm throwing it on here. Am i scared shitless to do so, but didn't someone say do 1 thing that scares you everyday? So here it is. I hope I won't wake up in cold sweat and decided to remove at 3am.
It's a wicked short piece. Quick read.
The Great Debate
God-Hello my name is God and I’m running for President. I’ve seen this country go down the tubes the last couple of years and I decided who better than myself to clean this country up and the world. Because the president of this great nation is also an important world leader. Someone who the world looks to for advice. Who better than god for that advice?
President-I’ve been President for a 4 years now and I know what’s needed to be done here. I am a veteran in politics. Sadly, my opponent is not. I know the responsibilities of being President. And I promise you, I’ll bring this country back up to where it belongs. Can you actually trust God?
Mediator- Mr. God, what’s your view on Healthcare?
God-I’ll heal the sick and the dying.
President-It’s not that easy with the issue of healthcare. What about the costs? Are you going to bring up the prices on healthcare for senior citizens? My plan that I started in the first term of my presidency, is coming to fruition. And in the next 2 years or so you’ll see the big pay off.
Mediator-Mr. President what do you think of God suddenly jumping into the Presidential race.
President-Well I think it’s just the Democrats up to their old tricks again.
God-Mr. President, I’m not affiliated with any party’s
Mediator-(trying to interrupt) Excuse me…I’m trying to mediate
President-Sure I bet you and Ted Kennedy are good ole buddies
God-If you didn’t know, I love everyone.
President-Sure! Why did you send your only son to die? You love everyone but apparently you’ll let your son die! I wouldn’t let my son die!
Mediator-(trying to interrupt) Excuse me…Order. Order!
God-He died to save all of you from your sins. Mr. President you are Christian, you should know that.
President-You have an answer to everything don’t you.
Mediator-Oh forget it! I’ll just let you two talk!
God-I am all knowing
President-And you are quite smug about it. You’ve never heard of a thing called modesty, God?
God-I speak the truth, there is no reason for me to tell lies.
President-Sure. My fellow Americans, do you want four years of this liberal talk? Or do you want a President that’ll listen to the people and not go with his liberal agendas!
God-I’m not a liberal. I’m not on any side.
President-Oh you are not on any side? Are you flip flopping?
God-I am not going to dignify that.
President-Oh I thought you were all knowing.
God-Please let us get back to the issues.
President-Alright, we will. My fellow Americans knew I served this great country of ours? Where were you? Are you even a citizen of this great nation?
God-I am everyone. I created this world. It is part of me. So yes I consider myself a citizen. I do not condone war. I’m against any kind of conflict. I would really prefer if everyone got along. If anyone knew me, they would know I’m against that.
President-So you are against defending our nation? Let the terrorist walk all over us. Well not me, I will defend this country by any means necessary. Does this country want to be protected by God or by our first class military? On November 2nd you should make the right choice.
God-Do you know what you are even saying?
President-Yes I do. And I stand by them. I have strong convictions. Let me ask you a question God. What have you done for the American people?
God-Well…I created all of you. I basically gave you life. I created you in my image. And I care about every single one of you.
President-Love won’t help our deficit. I have a plan that’ll cut our deficit in half in four years. We won’t be able to get rid of the deficit but we’ll cut it down.
God-I’ll eliminate it all together…because I’m…God.
President-Big talk with no way you can back it up. That’s how my opponent is. He is a man of loose morals. This man destroyed an entire city. He flooded the world and only gave warning to one guy and his wife. How do you know we won’t do it again? He gave us his word? How strong is this man’s word? Who would really follow this man? My fellow Americans, I am a man of strong faith and strong morals. I won’t let this country be attacked by terrorists, I will protect every single one of you. I know what needs to be done. My opponent is a rookie in politics. You need a clear thinking man of conviction. I am your man.
God-Ok, here it is. You all know what I can do. Because I’m God. I came down here to help you. And I thought I’d go through the right channels to make it look I’m not just taking over the world. I really want to help all of you. All of you are my family, and I care about you all. But remember don’t listen to all this stuff my opponent has said. He is throwing out labels and insults and telling you lies. How do I know? Because I’m God. If you vote for my opponent, he will ruin this country. This is the truth. If you turn your backs on me and vote for my opponent because of his rhetoric, I will quit looking after you and I’ll create a different world and you’ll see this world go to utter ruin. I’m here to help you fix this world. I saw all of you fuck this world up and go against everything I told you, so I’m here now to help you.
President-Are you threatening the American people!!
God-Oh Jesus….
President-Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain!
Mediator-Thank you everyone for watching our political debate and don’t forget to vote on the 2nd! This Donald Benson…Thank you and Good night
I got a great idea, to combat me waking at 3 to remove it, I'll stay up till 3! Take that!
Does anyone want to make a hilarious TV show? I got that urge today. Well to tell you the truth i would love to write/act in a tv comedy. I may just be in that mood, like the post i had a long ass time ago about having a sketch comedy group. That would be cool as well. Maybe I'm just wondering if someone can just drop some money on me and i'll do things that i like for the rest of my life. That would be cool.
I've been throwing my writings at friends just to get opinions on what i should work on and what is good and they are slowly but surely being read. I did get positive stuff from from the first thing 2 of my friends of read. So in an act of craziness, i'm throwing it on here. Am i scared shitless to do so, but didn't someone say do 1 thing that scares you everyday? So here it is. I hope I won't wake up in cold sweat and decided to remove at 3am.
It's a wicked short piece. Quick read.
The Great Debate
God-Hello my name is God and I’m running for President. I’ve seen this country go down the tubes the last couple of years and I decided who better than myself to clean this country up and the world. Because the president of this great nation is also an important world leader. Someone who the world looks to for advice. Who better than god for that advice?
President-I’ve been President for a 4 years now and I know what’s needed to be done here. I am a veteran in politics. Sadly, my opponent is not. I know the responsibilities of being President. And I promise you, I’ll bring this country back up to where it belongs. Can you actually trust God?
Mediator- Mr. God, what’s your view on Healthcare?
God-I’ll heal the sick and the dying.
President-It’s not that easy with the issue of healthcare. What about the costs? Are you going to bring up the prices on healthcare for senior citizens? My plan that I started in the first term of my presidency, is coming to fruition. And in the next 2 years or so you’ll see the big pay off.
Mediator-Mr. President what do you think of God suddenly jumping into the Presidential race.
President-Well I think it’s just the Democrats up to their old tricks again.
God-Mr. President, I’m not affiliated with any party’s
Mediator-(trying to interrupt) Excuse me…I’m trying to mediate
President-Sure I bet you and Ted Kennedy are good ole buddies
God-If you didn’t know, I love everyone.
President-Sure! Why did you send your only son to die? You love everyone but apparently you’ll let your son die! I wouldn’t let my son die!
Mediator-(trying to interrupt) Excuse me…Order. Order!
God-He died to save all of you from your sins. Mr. President you are Christian, you should know that.
President-You have an answer to everything don’t you.
Mediator-Oh forget it! I’ll just let you two talk!
God-I am all knowing
President-And you are quite smug about it. You’ve never heard of a thing called modesty, God?
God-I speak the truth, there is no reason for me to tell lies.
President-Sure. My fellow Americans, do you want four years of this liberal talk? Or do you want a President that’ll listen to the people and not go with his liberal agendas!
God-I’m not a liberal. I’m not on any side.
President-Oh you are not on any side? Are you flip flopping?
God-I am not going to dignify that.
President-Oh I thought you were all knowing.
God-Please let us get back to the issues.
President-Alright, we will. My fellow Americans knew I served this great country of ours? Where were you? Are you even a citizen of this great nation?
God-I am everyone. I created this world. It is part of me. So yes I consider myself a citizen. I do not condone war. I’m against any kind of conflict. I would really prefer if everyone got along. If anyone knew me, they would know I’m against that.
President-So you are against defending our nation? Let the terrorist walk all over us. Well not me, I will defend this country by any means necessary. Does this country want to be protected by God or by our first class military? On November 2nd you should make the right choice.
God-Do you know what you are even saying?
President-Yes I do. And I stand by them. I have strong convictions. Let me ask you a question God. What have you done for the American people?
God-Well…I created all of you. I basically gave you life. I created you in my image. And I care about every single one of you.
President-Love won’t help our deficit. I have a plan that’ll cut our deficit in half in four years. We won’t be able to get rid of the deficit but we’ll cut it down.
God-I’ll eliminate it all together…because I’m…God.
President-Big talk with no way you can back it up. That’s how my opponent is. He is a man of loose morals. This man destroyed an entire city. He flooded the world and only gave warning to one guy and his wife. How do you know we won’t do it again? He gave us his word? How strong is this man’s word? Who would really follow this man? My fellow Americans, I am a man of strong faith and strong morals. I won’t let this country be attacked by terrorists, I will protect every single one of you. I know what needs to be done. My opponent is a rookie in politics. You need a clear thinking man of conviction. I am your man.
God-Ok, here it is. You all know what I can do. Because I’m God. I came down here to help you. And I thought I’d go through the right channels to make it look I’m not just taking over the world. I really want to help all of you. All of you are my family, and I care about you all. But remember don’t listen to all this stuff my opponent has said. He is throwing out labels and insults and telling you lies. How do I know? Because I’m God. If you vote for my opponent, he will ruin this country. This is the truth. If you turn your backs on me and vote for my opponent because of his rhetoric, I will quit looking after you and I’ll create a different world and you’ll see this world go to utter ruin. I’m here to help you fix this world. I saw all of you fuck this world up and go against everything I told you, so I’m here now to help you.
President-Are you threatening the American people!!
God-Oh Jesus….
President-Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain!
Mediator-Thank you everyone for watching our political debate and don’t forget to vote on the 2nd! This Donald Benson…Thank you and Good night
I got a great idea, to combat me waking at 3 to remove it, I'll stay up till 3! Take that!