roots and going in circles.
*
Home on a Saturday. Never been an outgoing person to start with, and the money-handicap (the ATM ate my card) really puts me back to my roots. Having just woken up, (it's almost 11) I read a message from someone pretty important about how the past is out of control, the future out of reach and that therefore we should live in the present as best we can. I could not agree more. Plus, I wonder where this interaction's going.
**
It's been more than a week since I last saw my dinner buddy. (Did I mention that I used to majorly crush on her when we were in elementary? -- Guess not. I was the crusher, she was the crushee?) Anyhow, it's the punchline to the cosmic joke --- as you're getting used to something, that something tends to change. And I do believe change is a good thing. Change is a means of moving forward, and moving forward's a way to get through this sweet, sweet life. Plus, complacency probably isn't that good of a thing, it breeds dependency.
It was nice though --- having someone to talk to over dinner. When I arrive at home, everyone's usually done eating. (Plus, getting to meet her again -- it's probably everything my elementary school self would have wanted, minus the kissy-kissy/touchy-feely parts. Grade 6-me would try to beat the shit out of me right now --- over my fetishistic star.)
***
Did I mention that I just woke up? I woke up and remembered: I have no idea what internal portrait of me the "pretty important person" and "dinner buddy" have. Would it be feasible to have them write it in essay form?
****
CREEPY SHIT: There's this girl I refuse to get in touch with since ... well, prison isn't really a good idea yet. (I mean, if you love someone don't send them to prison, right?) Well, she posted a picture. With a guy. Dammit, the guy kinda looks like me. And to show this to me --- can you spell 'spite'?
*****
To quote Sunset Rubdown's "The Empty Threats from Little Lord," 'There are women with no meaning to their names .... When we say them…'
Which is, of course, 2006's best truthful quasi-chauvinistic line.
******
Smoking Loving is better than breathing.
I blow at the ember and watch it devour the whites, to spit it out as gray, gray smoke.
*******
Therefore, to ensure a good future --- I want to always keep trying to outdo myself. (Which isn't too hard, I guess, just 'being' a little bit better all the time.)