I think I might cry and not be able to stop
Well the one thing that I have been fearing this whole week is happening now.In other word JJ is somewhere in town I just don't know where. He got something planned and I don't know what. Well I kinda do. Most likely he is gonna try to get me to go back to him. And the thing that scares me is that I may be blinded enough to go back to him. I was moving on so good and when I was about to move on he comes back. But I know I shouldn't. I really did care about him and when he left it was hard for me to get close to any one else. And I was so close to moving on but then he came back and comletely messed things up for me. Maybe I should have gone to Maine.Now I wished that I did. But it's too late now.I am on my own with this. I just don't wanna do with crap any more but noone really ever cared for me as much as he did. I still have feelings for him but I know that I need to move on.TT is telling me to stay hidden till JJ leaves but I am not gonna hide. That not how I deal with shit.
One side of me tells me to not go back to him
But there's a small part of me that wishes that I could
So I really am scared that I will go back to him like I do everytime even though I know he has not change. Maybe I should just die alone.It be more easy. And everyday I walk around as if everything is ok but once I am alone I cry th whole time. I don't trust any of my closet friends no more. The one guy who cares about me hurts me all the time. And no one sees with fake smile I have all the time. I don't know how longer I can keep going till I brake. Everyone is too busy with their own lives to see that mine is a lie. But I know that if I start complaining to ppl they will think that is nothing and tell me to get over it.Their own lives are more important. I want to move on but I can't do it on my own. It hurts too much. Knowing that I am still alone. And it doen't matter what my friends say. They may say that I got them but it does not help me at all. I have been betrayed so much that I think it alomost too late and save me now.Maybe I am already dead inside.
One side of me tells me to not go back to him
But there's a small part of me that wishes that I could
So I really am scared that I will go back to him like I do everytime even though I know he has not change. Maybe I should just die alone.It be more easy. And everyday I walk around as if everything is ok but once I am alone I cry th whole time. I don't trust any of my closet friends no more. The one guy who cares about me hurts me all the time. And no one sees with fake smile I have all the time. I don't know how longer I can keep going till I brake. Everyone is too busy with their own lives to see that mine is a lie. But I know that if I start complaining to ppl they will think that is nothing and tell me to get over it.Their own lives are more important. I want to move on but I can't do it on my own. It hurts too much. Knowing that I am still alone. And it doen't matter what my friends say. They may say that I got them but it does not help me at all. I have been betrayed so much that I think it alomost too late and save me now.Maybe I am already dead inside.