Downhill slope
Things have been going from bad to worse really. I dont know what happened or how it happened but after my firght with Jack things have just steadily got worse. The pinacle of the problem at the moment is that I might be suspended and three of my best friends could be expelled. :D its great isn't it? As if that wasn't bad enough I feel there is no one left to talk to at college. I had to walk out of my tutorial becuse Mr.Cox really upset me and I really didn't need it after two days worth of cutting. Messed myself up pretty bad this time. Nothing too deep just a lot. The thing is, is I have been feeling like I want to tell someone. I dont want to stop, I'm not ready for that yet but I want to tell sumone like a counciller or just someone who knows what the next step could be because I'm getting addicted. My parents would be so disappointed if they ever found out. Especially at the moment seeing as yesterday I told them about my tattoo and piercing, but they seem to be ok with it, and now today I had to tell them that I could be suspended! If they found out about this too it would make them so disappointed in me, and thats what I'm so worried about. They hold me in such high esteem that I just feel I could never tell them, but I'm running out of space on my wrist that isnt already scarred, and cutting scar tissue is not a good idea. I just want to know what I did wrong. I thought my life was great last year and now I hate it. I hate myself, I hate everything thats going on, or isn't, and I just want to move on and get over this bad patch. I know that if I tell somone I cut they will try and get me to stop but I'm not ready. Its still the only way that I can cope with things and I know its not good but it gets me through. I just cant talk to people and its really annoying. I'm too tired to write more now and I have a lot of work to do so I'm going to do that. Keep all things crossed.