(no subject)
Once, there were three children, named Oswald, Aswald, and Marv.
They all looked the same as one another,
except that one was tall and thin,
and the other short and fat,
and the third was Marv,
who could never quite recall
which of his brothers was Oswald and which was Aswald.
Their father had died on a hunting trip
a few years before the eldest of them was born,
and so they were raised in the forest by squirrels.
Now, while this produced in them a fascinating ability
to scale trees and forage for nuts,
it left them quite lacking in social skills.
Oswald had once proposed to a badger,
only to discover that one must typically know
the middle name of one's prospective bride,
whereas Aswald had once thrown a party
in somebody else's pants without permission.
Marv, on the other foot,
was a delightful chap who would roll about on his head,
singing at the birds and claiming that he was
the lord and master of the pet cricket he had found that morning.
Said cricket was later found squashed by the river,
and much debate was made as to the events leading up to this event -
but no one theory was ever agreed upon,
and eventually it fell out of local conversation.
Now, it came to pass that Oswald, Aswald, and Marv were making their way
through a particulalry crowded stream of fish one morning,
when they came across a young lass.
Now this girl was beautiful as the moon was full,
which is to say a little different every day,
but once a month she shone full on,
unless it was cloudy.
And the three of them decided they would compete for her hand in marriage,
provided she had a middle name for them to know.
Oswald built a catapult, and loaded it with roses twined along cement blocks,
and attempted to launch them into intricate patterns embedded in the local hillside.
Unfortunately, he was not particularly good at tying knots,
and succeeded only in launching one rock fimly onto his skull.
Aswald attempted to eat an entire windmill,
and at this he was nearly successful,
were it not for his inability to clear the system of the offending bricks
which began to pile up inside him.
Eventually he was carted off and used as an anchor for a local steam boat.
Marv had it in him to ask the girl her name,
but upon her lack of response,
discovered that she was quite deceased.
Disappointed, he used her as a doormat for some time,
until she was stolen in the middle of the night.
Sometimes, they say you can still hear the chirping
of his dead cricket by the side of the stream.
The End.
They all looked the same as one another,
except that one was tall and thin,
and the other short and fat,
and the third was Marv,
who could never quite recall
which of his brothers was Oswald and which was Aswald.
Their father had died on a hunting trip
a few years before the eldest of them was born,
and so they were raised in the forest by squirrels.
Now, while this produced in them a fascinating ability
to scale trees and forage for nuts,
it left them quite lacking in social skills.
Oswald had once proposed to a badger,
only to discover that one must typically know
the middle name of one's prospective bride,
whereas Aswald had once thrown a party
in somebody else's pants without permission.
Marv, on the other foot,
was a delightful chap who would roll about on his head,
singing at the birds and claiming that he was
the lord and master of the pet cricket he had found that morning.
Said cricket was later found squashed by the river,
and much debate was made as to the events leading up to this event -
but no one theory was ever agreed upon,
and eventually it fell out of local conversation.
Now, it came to pass that Oswald, Aswald, and Marv were making their way
through a particulalry crowded stream of fish one morning,
when they came across a young lass.
Now this girl was beautiful as the moon was full,
which is to say a little different every day,
but once a month she shone full on,
unless it was cloudy.
And the three of them decided they would compete for her hand in marriage,
provided she had a middle name for them to know.
Oswald built a catapult, and loaded it with roses twined along cement blocks,
and attempted to launch them into intricate patterns embedded in the local hillside.
Unfortunately, he was not particularly good at tying knots,
and succeeded only in launching one rock fimly onto his skull.
Aswald attempted to eat an entire windmill,
and at this he was nearly successful,
were it not for his inability to clear the system of the offending bricks
which began to pile up inside him.
Eventually he was carted off and used as an anchor for a local steam boat.
Marv had it in him to ask the girl her name,
but upon her lack of response,
discovered that she was quite deceased.
Disappointed, he used her as a doormat for some time,
until she was stolen in the middle of the night.
Sometimes, they say you can still hear the chirping
of his dead cricket by the side of the stream.
The End.