Just a thought hun, you might want to remove me from your friend's list, because I can read the friend's only ones, lol. I was managing my friends, and your name was still listed. Just wanted to see if you knew this or not.
And because this stood out in BIG YELLOW LETTERS, no, I never cheated on you. If something is going around that I have, please inform me of who and when, so I may promptly stab them in the face. The only action I got while we were together outside you was that night that me, you and Aud started kissing. And hey, you started that--and you were the only sober one, lol. Just rest assured that you were my one and only, and I cherished and stood for that up until the day we ended.
Listen, I read a few of the last entries here (I haven't read this since May)... and... well, quite honestly, they are insane. Hayley--screw other people (me included, if it makes it easier) and find something within YOURSELF to stabalize your life with, alright? Everyone deserves it if they work to find it. It seems like you're reaching out to other people, when really you should just rely on yourself. Just take that as you will. I'm only offering help, and this is about all I want to do... and it's probably too much.
Yeah I know you're still there. I left you there, I'll take you off if I want. Yeah someone told me that you cheated on me, with Audry and that chick, who's name I can't remember, who lived next to your dad in Loveland.
I probably should. But you know me, my friends mean the world to me, and I'd do anything for them. So it' kinda hard for me not to.
I understand. I'm not trying to change you or anything, if that was insinuated, so I'll clear that up. Friends mean the world to me, too, but they shouldn't run your life, you know?
And no hun, I never cheated on you with Audrey. What DJ said that night to make you think that, he said it to push your buttons--you know him. And I've never even so much as kissed Breanna (that's her name), so please, don't think I did that. Yeah, I liked her way back in the day (I was 14), but that's long gone.
Hun, if it helps at all, I do miss what we had, although I know it'll never be there again (for various reasons), so I moved on. I loved you with everything hun, I didn't need anyone else, period. And I'm sorry for my end of all the stress-causing (and my reactions to said stress). We both deserved better, so let's shoot for it.
And I hear Chase is treating you pretty shitty. Shall I lecture him? J/K. It's none of my business. Just live for you, and know that SOMEWHERE in there is the strength to support yourself, in all respects (financially, emotionally, physically, and whatever else there may be). I have confidence in that, if it means anything. Good luck with it all.
It wasn't insluting. They don't "run" my life, but without them I would be nothing. I love them so much, and they all know that.
Yeah he has his moments. But it's just the kid he is, I just gotta learn to deal with it better. Who did you hear this from? Kait, I'm sure, I was talking to her a lot about it. She helps me more then she will ever know, and I love her so much for that. Tell her thanks for me, k?
And it isn't so much as they directly run your life, so much as overwrite some of your own personal insight to it... if that makes any sense. I may not even be close on this, but hey, I haven't been around. I'm just making my best guess and letting myself go on saying anything to you, because I have no problem with it anymore.
Maybe if you just let anything any of them say or do that would hurt you not so much skip by, but be a lesson and nothing more. If anyone has anything smart to say, then let them. It's only words, but if they leave you hanging and that crushes you to the point of oblivion, then yes, they "run" your life... only because if they decided to leave it, you'd fall. (See the "support" analogy here?)
Oh joy, numerous people are talking about me again, this makes me feel great. Guess that's what I get for coming back here. (Would you have a problem telling me who?, I've heard a lot lately about people talking about me, and I'm just curious)
Just about every entry lately has been about Chase messing with me. So it really has nothing to do with my friends, except for the ones saying that they are awesome. You know? So basically all my problems lately were becaseu of him. But things are better now. We're talking again, and things are generally ok. idk, everyting's relly confusing lately, kind of hard to explain.
For your sake, I'd hope everything is alright. Just don't bury yourself in something you can't get out of.
And I've heard these things through Lynnea mainly. Towerton has heard things, and Britt has beard things I believe. They aren't talking shit. Just saying they heard about it when you'd come up somewhere in conversation.
I honeslty have no idea how anything is right now. I wish I coudl say it was wonderful. But I can't. Yeah I talk to Nay about it a lot too. I guess Chase talks to Casey, and then Casey would talk to them. as long as what's being said isn't bad I'm ok with it. I just don't need more shit being talked about me. Thanks for telling me.
Nothing that hasn't been made clear before. If you trust my ability to outline a scenario, you're more than welcome to talk to me about it. I can help figure it out--even if I still think you're crazy.
Don't ask me why. "It just seems like the thing to do."
I am crazy, we all know this. If I had any idea what exactly was going on I could talk about it. But I don't I'm soooo confused, I wouldn't even know where to begin. But it's nice to know I have someone to talk to.
We'll, maybe I can help find the starting point--or in the least erase some kind of itch it may be causing. You should still have my AIM, yesh? But phones work better. IM me on AIM if you want the number.
I think I would scare you talkig about everyting that's happened in the last 4 months or so. It's kinda a sorts break down thing. I had a mini one last week, and I think this time it'll be nice. Just everything from the past few months finally catching up to me.
Yeah I've still got your AIM, and mine's stil the same.
Thanks. It's still screened. It's not like anyone actually read my lj anyway. Chase does sometimes, and Amber and Katie, but that's about it. and they don't care for your number. But I'll keep it screened for you.
Yeah I understand, that's why I screened it for you. Talking to someone would be nice. But if I even tried to talk right now, it'd be incoherent babble. Probably alot of crying. There's nothing wrong with That 70's show, btw. I love that show.
I'm just gunna go lay down and be Emo, eat my mini pretzel sticks, and hopefully, for oce in the past month get some sleep. That 70 s show sounds so much better.
And because this stood out in BIG YELLOW LETTERS, no, I never cheated on you. If something is going around that I have, please inform me of who and when, so I may promptly stab them in the face. The only action I got while we were together outside you was that night that me, you and Aud started kissing. And hey, you started that--and you were the only sober one, lol. Just rest assured that you were my one and only, and I cherished and stood for that up until the day we ended.
Listen, I read a few of the last entries here (I haven't read this since May)... and... well, quite honestly, they are insane. Hayley--screw other people (me included, if it makes it easier) and find something within YOURSELF to stabalize your life with, alright? Everyone deserves it if they work to find it. It seems like you're reaching out to other people, when really you should just rely on yourself. Just take that as you will. I'm only offering help, and this is about all I want to do... and it's probably too much.
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I probably should. But you know me, my friends mean the world to me, and I'd do anything for them. So it' kinda hard for me not to.
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And no hun, I never cheated on you with Audrey. What DJ said that night to make you think that, he said it to push your buttons--you know him. And I've never even so much as kissed Breanna (that's her name), so please, don't think I did that. Yeah, I liked her way back in the day (I was 14), but that's long gone.
Hun, if it helps at all, I do miss what we had, although I know it'll never be there again (for various reasons), so I moved on. I loved you with everything hun, I didn't need anyone else, period. And I'm sorry for my end of all the stress-causing (and my reactions to said stress). We both deserved better, so let's shoot for it.
And I hear Chase is treating you pretty shitty. Shall I lecture him? J/K. It's none of my business. Just live for you, and know that SOMEWHERE in there is the strength to support yourself, in all respects (financially, emotionally, physically, and whatever else there may be). I have confidence in that, if it means anything. Good luck with it all.
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Yeah he has his moments. But it's just the kid he is, I just gotta learn to deal with it better. Who did you hear this from? Kait, I'm sure, I was talking to her a lot about it. She helps me more then she will ever know, and I love her so much for that. Tell her thanks for me, k?
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And it isn't so much as they directly run your life, so much as overwrite some of your own personal insight to it... if that makes any sense. I may not even be close on this, but hey, I haven't been around. I'm just making my best guess and letting myself go on saying anything to you, because I have no problem with it anymore.
Maybe if you just let anything any of them say or do that would hurt you not so much skip by, but be a lesson and nothing more. If anyone has anything smart to say, then let them. It's only words, but if they leave you hanging and that crushes you to the point of oblivion, then yes, they "run" your life... only because if they decided to leave it, you'd fall. (See the "support" analogy here?)
And I'll let Kait know.
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Just about every entry lately has been about Chase messing with me. So it really has nothing to do with my friends, except for the ones saying that they are awesome. You know? So basically all my problems lately were becaseu of him. But things are better now. We're talking again, and things are generally ok. idk, everyting's relly confusing lately, kind of hard to explain.
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And I've heard these things through Lynnea mainly. Towerton has heard things, and Britt has beard things I believe. They aren't talking shit. Just saying they heard about it when you'd come up somewhere in conversation.
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Don't ask me why. "It just seems like the thing to do."
Where have we heard THAT before? lol.
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Yeah I've still got your AIM, and mine's stil the same.
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I'm going to be up for a bit, so you can call tonight if you want. Might be more exciting than watching "That 70's Show."
I know you're confused--but maybe even rambling a bout of incoherant BLEH would be a good release for you.
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I'm just gunna go lay down and be Emo, eat my mini pretzel sticks, and hopefully, for oce in the past month get some sleep. That 70
s show sounds so much better.
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