Drop What You're Doing and Go See Jupiter Ascending
You guys.
I mean, you guys.
This is the greatest worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.
Everything you’ve heard about this movie is true. It has more plotholes than a block of Swiss cheese. It has dropped plot threads, characters who come and go and have no purpose except to look pretty and vamp it up. It has Channing Tatum in eyeliner and prosthetic ears, roller blading through space. It has Eddie Redmayne wearing a side boob dress and whispering all his lines except for when he’s shouting in manpain.
But let me tell you what else it has.
A kickass female protagonist. She takes all this shit that happens to her in stride and barely blinks. She’s strong, loyal to her family, and she looks hella beautiful in a space gown. She’s no damsel in distress, even when she is. She’s smart, resourceful, and she’s so awesome I want to marry her.
Also this movie passes the Bechdel test with flying colors, if you can imagine it.
So yes, run don’t walk, to your nearest theater and go see this movie. You will be so glad you did.
I mean, you guys.
This is the greatest worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life.
Everything you’ve heard about this movie is true. It has more plotholes than a block of Swiss cheese. It has dropped plot threads, characters who come and go and have no purpose except to look pretty and vamp it up. It has Channing Tatum in eyeliner and prosthetic ears, roller blading through space. It has Eddie Redmayne wearing a side boob dress and whispering all his lines except for when he’s shouting in manpain.
But let me tell you what else it has.
A kickass female protagonist. She takes all this shit that happens to her in stride and barely blinks. She’s strong, loyal to her family, and she looks hella beautiful in a space gown. She’s no damsel in distress, even when she is. She’s smart, resourceful, and she’s so awesome I want to marry her.
Also this movie passes the Bechdel test with flying colors, if you can imagine it.
So yes, run don’t walk, to your nearest theater and go see this movie. You will be so glad you did.