(no subject)
I've got a serious case of the sads.
Solomon and I might be breaking up. We are in the midst of a multi session make it or break it talk.
I told him a week (or two?) ago that if he wasn't back in anchorage by sometime early in the new year, that our relationship would inevitably wind down.
I thought that I was just restating the obvious, but apparently it was new to him. Glad I brought it up!
Anyway, it got him to thinking, and me, too.
Yesterday we had another talk.
In this talk, he told me that he had decided that he would be open to coming back to Anchorage, but that if he did, he would probably be leaving again. It would either be at the beginning or end of next summer.
I'm not sure if I should ask him to come back to anchorage, or if it's just time to cut my losses because we just don't want the same thing.
We're going for another round tonight.
I've made a list of the things that would create a relationship that was 100% what I wanted.
Last night, he was talking about this as a compromise solution.
I said that I couldn't figure out a compromise because I wasn't sure what would be 100% for him.
He spewed out an answer, but then that wasn't actually what he wanted after all once we started talking about it.
I feel like him coming up to AK *for me* feels bad to me. I was thinking about it some more today and realized that if he is going to come up, it has to be contextualized in a different way.
It can be because *he is interested in exploring a relationship with me*
or because *he is interested in exploring alaska more*
or something else like that. But it can't be just *for me*. There's too much pressure there. It feels too much like I've accidentally forced him to do something he didn't want to do in the first place.
anyway, I'm off to buy more minutes for my phone. I tried yesterday and there was what was probably a glitch in the system, and I didn't get all the minutes I paid for. Hopefully this will get worked out by the company. I'm going to have my spanish teacher call for me on Monday.
Solomon and I might be breaking up. We are in the midst of a multi session make it or break it talk.
I told him a week (or two?) ago that if he wasn't back in anchorage by sometime early in the new year, that our relationship would inevitably wind down.
I thought that I was just restating the obvious, but apparently it was new to him. Glad I brought it up!
Anyway, it got him to thinking, and me, too.
Yesterday we had another talk.
In this talk, he told me that he had decided that he would be open to coming back to Anchorage, but that if he did, he would probably be leaving again. It would either be at the beginning or end of next summer.
I'm not sure if I should ask him to come back to anchorage, or if it's just time to cut my losses because we just don't want the same thing.
We're going for another round tonight.
I've made a list of the things that would create a relationship that was 100% what I wanted.
Last night, he was talking about this as a compromise solution.
I said that I couldn't figure out a compromise because I wasn't sure what would be 100% for him.
He spewed out an answer, but then that wasn't actually what he wanted after all once we started talking about it.
I feel like him coming up to AK *for me* feels bad to me. I was thinking about it some more today and realized that if he is going to come up, it has to be contextualized in a different way.
It can be because *he is interested in exploring a relationship with me*
or because *he is interested in exploring alaska more*
or something else like that. But it can't be just *for me*. There's too much pressure there. It feels too much like I've accidentally forced him to do something he didn't want to do in the first place.
anyway, I'm off to buy more minutes for my phone. I tried yesterday and there was what was probably a glitch in the system, and I didn't get all the minutes I paid for. Hopefully this will get worked out by the company. I'm going to have my spanish teacher call for me on Monday.