AH penis
So in expressing vast amounts of anger I usually say the word penis. Just thought I would express that.
So what could today's possible rant be...well As usually I will rant about my guy situation, but in due time. Firstly I would like to rant about this girl I work with.
She likes to tell me what to do, even though I've been doing this longer then she has. So I called her a dirty pirate hooker. she looked at me as if I were satan. Take that stupid whore.
Still ranting.....Friends, well certain type of friend. heres a question for those of you who actually read my crap. And you should reply if you have the answer. Heres the question, what kind of friend is this? Description: This friend, layed in my bed all day while her roommate (me) took care of her children. This friend played on the computer all day, and paid no attention to what her children were doing. This friend, didn't have a job, just played on the computer, talked on the phone, and begged for someone to help her. Her friend helped her get back on her feet. Gave her rent money. bought groceries and even fixed dinner for which she was the only who would eat it. Her friend gave her children spending money for school. Her friend bought her cigerattes. Her friend got really sick and had to move back home, because she didn't bother to care about her while she was collapsing on the couch. This friend met a guy, 20 years younger then herself, and decides that she has solved all her problems, and tossing her old roommate out like yesterday's trash. Her friend still calls her, checks on her children, and even remembered her birthday. What kind of friend is that?
Onward ranting- Guys, okay so I've decided that I can't pretend anymore that I am okay with the situation I am in. He's got to go, and I think that IT's because I honestly don't want to make time for him, this is very selfish, but I really want time for me, and this relationship, however lacking it might be, is still to demanding of my time. I don't have any desire to kiss him, or anything. This is seriously wrong. And despite my efforts to really want it to work, I just can't bring myself to give the full effort. It doesn't help that I met this wicked cool guy, and that him and I are hitting our friendship off like a charm. But he's got things in his life that occupy him, and thats the way I like it! Friendship is key here. I just want a great friendship that with some serious time will grow into a beautiful relationship, and I don't want any of this I love, do you love me crap? That time will come, but I am not about to sit here and lie to someone about how I really feel about them. I want to shot myself in the head everytime this guy tells me he loves me, because all I can say, is right back at ya, or thanks. Any suggestion about how I could break the ice??
Cheers