Fuck Harper Lee!
"They don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us"
That is the problem.
Dear friends, let me share my story of woe with you.
I live in a house in a part of our city called "Germantown." This area is known for having very old houses, that are notoriously a pain in the ass to work on. My room is far from an exception. Even though this is just a tiny piece of shit two bedroom house, our central air is warmed by the time that it reaches my room. Sleeping in an oven that wreaks of old people is near impossible, so recently i've tried sleeping with my windows open. This is where the trouble begins.
Ms. Lee spent a goodtime using the Mockingbird as a reoccuring symbol in her famous book "To Kill a Mockingbird" to represent the victims of injustice in her book. She says that it is a Sin to kill them because they do no harm to anyone and just spend their lives singing to us. Well, I don't live in the early south, and I fucking hate birds that sing from 3:00AM to 2:59AM... the next day.
A mockingbird has set up its base of operations in very dense tree less than 20 feet from my window, and loves to sing his song of everything from bluejays to train horns. I haven't had a goodnights sleep in over a month because of this fucker. I've tried sleeping with my windows closed and a fan on, but no: my window sills aren't properly mounted to the walls anymore and block sound about as well as a silk net.
I am fucking fed up with it. So tonight, at 2:00AM, I took action. I loaded up my Red Rider air rifle with attached scope, grabbed my 2D maglight, and went on a hunt for that annoying rat with wings. With my rifle loaded, and my camping spot well picked, I took aim... at nothing. The tree has so many thick leaves that I had to aim solely on sound. After a couple of pop shots I heard some violent fluttering and did a victory dance... then proceded to pee on his tree of residence.
I thought I was victorious. I was dead wrong. I just got into bed and closed my eyes to get some well deserved post finals sleep. No luck. He was still alive, and as loud as ever. I have no idea how the hell to kill this little bastard and actually be able to get some good rest.
So please, I ask you as a man desperate for some REM sleep...
How the hell do you "Kill a Mockingbird?"
That is the problem.
Dear friends, let me share my story of woe with you.
I live in a house in a part of our city called "Germantown." This area is known for having very old houses, that are notoriously a pain in the ass to work on. My room is far from an exception. Even though this is just a tiny piece of shit two bedroom house, our central air is warmed by the time that it reaches my room. Sleeping in an oven that wreaks of old people is near impossible, so recently i've tried sleeping with my windows open. This is where the trouble begins.
Ms. Lee spent a goodtime using the Mockingbird as a reoccuring symbol in her famous book "To Kill a Mockingbird" to represent the victims of injustice in her book. She says that it is a Sin to kill them because they do no harm to anyone and just spend their lives singing to us. Well, I don't live in the early south, and I fucking hate birds that sing from 3:00AM to 2:59AM... the next day.
A mockingbird has set up its base of operations in very dense tree less than 20 feet from my window, and loves to sing his song of everything from bluejays to train horns. I haven't had a goodnights sleep in over a month because of this fucker. I've tried sleeping with my windows closed and a fan on, but no: my window sills aren't properly mounted to the walls anymore and block sound about as well as a silk net.
I am fucking fed up with it. So tonight, at 2:00AM, I took action. I loaded up my Red Rider air rifle with attached scope, grabbed my 2D maglight, and went on a hunt for that annoying rat with wings. With my rifle loaded, and my camping spot well picked, I took aim... at nothing. The tree has so many thick leaves that I had to aim solely on sound. After a couple of pop shots I heard some violent fluttering and did a victory dance... then proceded to pee on his tree of residence.
I thought I was victorious. I was dead wrong. I just got into bed and closed my eyes to get some well deserved post finals sleep. No luck. He was still alive, and as loud as ever. I have no idea how the hell to kill this little bastard and actually be able to get some good rest.
So please, I ask you as a man desperate for some REM sleep...
How the hell do you "Kill a Mockingbird?"