(no subject)
Everyone asks how the retreat was. How my talk went. And what I got out of it.
The truth is, I continually hesitate to answer. It WAS good. Don't get me wrong. I watched the hearts of so many people change in front of me and I made quite a few new friends. But as I return to life again, I realize I'm the same person I was before I left. Yes, I had a few good talks with God and I sorted out some stuff--but I didn't have any sort of profound change to return with and my rose-colored glasses are appearing to be more of grey color I had left with. But its not that I expect every retreat to be life-altering. It just sucks when you don't feel any renewal. What I can tell you, is that I never want to be this me again. I am so tired. I am so bad at being a friend. I am so bad at taking care of myself, of others, because my current state--academically, financially, mentally, spiritually--simply cannot allow it.
So if you're reading this, know that I'm sorry. But I simply cannot change right now. I have to continue to be this way until the semester ends. Look for me then.
The truth is, I continually hesitate to answer. It WAS good. Don't get me wrong. I watched the hearts of so many people change in front of me and I made quite a few new friends. But as I return to life again, I realize I'm the same person I was before I left. Yes, I had a few good talks with God and I sorted out some stuff--but I didn't have any sort of profound change to return with and my rose-colored glasses are appearing to be more of grey color I had left with. But its not that I expect every retreat to be life-altering. It just sucks when you don't feel any renewal. What I can tell you, is that I never want to be this me again. I am so tired. I am so bad at being a friend. I am so bad at taking care of myself, of others, because my current state--academically, financially, mentally, spiritually--simply cannot allow it.
So if you're reading this, know that I'm sorry. But I simply cannot change right now. I have to continue to be this way until the semester ends. Look for me then.