Valuable...
This morning, about 6.45, the bus drove past a couple of guys pacing up and down by the side of the motorway talking urgently into mobile phones. I noticed because we'd slowed right down, and I glanced out of the window to see what variety of car had stopped, feeling sorry for them to break down on such a cold morning.
It wasn't a breakdown. Lying by the side of the road was a man, bloodied and battered and lifeless. I think the guys had stopped to call for an ambulance. My gut feeling told me it would have arrived far too late.
I haven't been able to get the image of him sprawled there out of my head. In such an unnatural pose, I only realised it was a person after we'd gone past. He was just lying there on the concrete... no flashing lights, no blocking off the road yet. Just there with no life left in him. It was so final. I wonder what he was thinking just before. Why he was there so early. Whether he was happy before. What plans he'd had for the day. Whether he has family who were woken up at 7am with the awful news, while the rest of the world carries on oblivious. I cannot even begin to comprehend it.
I told my supervisor, because she seemed concerned I was distracted. She was very understanding about it. Have never seen a dead person before, and have to admit I've spent most of the day choking back tears. It feels stupid, in a way, to be so affected by the death of somebody I don't know and barely even saw. But there you go.
I'm not scared of my own death. I know where I'm going and have confidence in what I believe. But the very thought of losing someone close to me, and having to carry on life here has chilled me to the very core. Please look after yourselves.
[It turns out it was a woman, who had fallen from the bridge. I don't know what to say really...]
It wasn't a breakdown. Lying by the side of the road was a man, bloodied and battered and lifeless. I think the guys had stopped to call for an ambulance. My gut feeling told me it would have arrived far too late.
I haven't been able to get the image of him sprawled there out of my head. In such an unnatural pose, I only realised it was a person after we'd gone past. He was just lying there on the concrete... no flashing lights, no blocking off the road yet. Just there with no life left in him. It was so final. I wonder what he was thinking just before. Why he was there so early. Whether he was happy before. What plans he'd had for the day. Whether he has family who were woken up at 7am with the awful news, while the rest of the world carries on oblivious. I cannot even begin to comprehend it.
I told my supervisor, because she seemed concerned I was distracted. She was very understanding about it. Have never seen a dead person before, and have to admit I've spent most of the day choking back tears. It feels stupid, in a way, to be so affected by the death of somebody I don't know and barely even saw. But there you go.
I'm not scared of my own death. I know where I'm going and have confidence in what I believe. But the very thought of losing someone close to me, and having to carry on life here has chilled me to the very core. Please look after yourselves.
[It turns out it was a woman, who had fallen from the bridge. I don't know what to say really...]