I don't wanna go back
For the first time since I started teaching, I am dreading my return to campus this year. I had such a traumatizing and frustrating experience with so many aspects of my job this past Spring that whenever I even think about starting up again, my stomach turns. I've been writing my syllabus over the last few days and that has helped me feel slightly less annoyed at the whole prospect, because I know that my students will be exciting and excited about the work we'll be doing together. However, for some reason my class isn't filling and it is making me feel really self conscious and frustrated with myself. It feels like a failure on a bunch of levels, and I'm not really sure how to handle it. I don't feel particularly close to many of my colleagues at the moment, so I haven't really been reaching out for support there either, even though I probably should. I'm just really burnt out and sad. I wish I felt better, but I just don't.
And to be honest, I don't even imagine that looking for another teaching job elsewhere would make things any better because I sort of feel burnt out on the whole endeavor.
And to be honest, I don't even imagine that looking for another teaching job elsewhere would make things any better because I sort of feel burnt out on the whole endeavor.