Blah blah blah.
I got thinking a lot about the villain, and decided his motivation was too shallow. Then I started thinking about the "give the eldest son back his throne" plot, and how stupid it is. Birth order does not affect political ability. So instead, we are now dislodging the "true" and legal heir, a young man of purely noble bloodlines and questionable intelligence, and the man that pulls his strings. Introduced some ethnic tensions into the mix too, between the conquering and conquered (our hero's mother was of the conquered people).
I also realized the plot is a frantic race to avert rather than precipitate war in a nation that cannot afford human conflict on top of the climatic catastrophe that's grinding their civilization into literal dust. THIS DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ANYWHERE WE KNOW, DOES IT. GEE GOLLY.
Character Profile: Finvair
Anha’s youngest brother, 9 in the prologue and 12 during the main story. His mother Nalja died of childbed fever shortly after he was born, and is very close to his sister as a result. He’s extremely intelligent and levelheaded, but lacks confidence and courage. Unlike his sister, he has wholeheartedly embraced the message of peace and forgiveness offered by the Masamite church, thinks constantly of others, and tries to find a non-violent solution to conflict whenever possible. He doesn’t like physical combat but has been forced to learn, and isn’t half bad, but has never killed, and fears it. Instead of becoming a hunter, he was training to become the next lore master for their tribe, and has a freakishly good auditory memory.
Bound by Grandfather’s magic to the edges of the White City, and also bound to his lord’s life-if Anha kills him, Fin will also die. He serves as playmate/servant/bodyguard to Seloukos’ eldest son Hiron, but has been deemed too cowardly to be of much other use. His shadowworking is clumsy, and the little gods were not impressed enough with him to lend him one of their children's bodies to shift with.
His strength is in his compassion, and will speak against his sister when he feels her rage has overtaken her reason, or restrain her from causing harm even when he risks injury himself.
Character Profile: Grandfather (the mentor)
Centuries ago he was a wizard of the same people as Anha and Fin, and it was his son that went on to found their tribe. He challenged his own chief (his uncle) to a fight to the death, alleging he was a black sorcerer and would lead his people to ruin. Gorarun won, barely, but was fatally wounded. With his dying breath his enemy spat the curse of immortality at him, and, too weak to defend himself, his spirit became locked to the golden circlet the chieftain wore. He became nothing but a mute shade, forced to obey whoever wore the crown, enduring an eternity of life without its physical pleasures. Lord Seloukon’s father, a great collector of mystical and arcane artifacts (this being the only one that was actually magical) discovered the circlet and used him to engineer his rapid rise to power. By the time of the main story Grandfather has forgotten even his name.
He appears as a stout man-shaped shadow with burning white eyes, a terrifying figure. He was a powerful wizard in life, and the unnatural span of years he’s endured have made him even more so. He can send dreams and nighmares, lay bindings, and see or hear anything anywhere within the city walls. What he cannot do is interact directly with the world around him. Seloukon’s grandfather taught him to read and write, and he can communicate only by casting the shadow of letters on the wall.
Hearing his own people’s tongue for the first time in centuries stirred something in him, and he now tries to help his two adopted “grandchildren” in any way he can. He deeply regrets cursing Anha and Fin, and weasels around his lord's commands in any way he can. Fin especially is very grateful for his companionship, and pledged to somehow steal the crown and destroy it, finally freeing him to die.
First off, I hate one-dimensional villains, which is why Voldemort annoys the hell out of me. So, Seloukon:
He’s a handsome man in his early fifties, and pure Kuoros nobleman. He takes pride in his bloodlines and is nationalistic almost to the point of fanaticism. His family has NOT, however, always been as high as they are now, and it makes him a paranoid about that power slipping away.
He is now effectively the ruler of the Empire behind the throne, ever since Emperor Pyross’ mental acuity and overall health began to decline. He does crave power, but does not view this move as malicious or traitorous-he is aiding his country as best he can, by preventing Nikolias, a man with possibly divided loyalties, from ascending the throne and encouraging his mother's people to rebel. Seloukon can be a right bastard when he feels his power is being threatened, and has a sadistic streak he mostly takes out on Anha. And not physically, since he feels himself above such crudities as rape, but emotionally, and has her teetering on the edge of despair.
But, and this is a big but, he doesn’t see himself as an “evil” man, but a pragmatic one. He cares very well for his own household and family, especially for his only son. At first, he had approached Anha with the opportunity for voluntary partnership, and it was only after she refused in disgust that he moved to trap her, because her talents were too valuable to the task of preserving his country. He does horrible, horrible things but believes them justified in service of the greater good.
To be done: Prince Nikolias (equal amounts love interest!!! and annoying sarcastic guy), General Mettic (um, Uncle Iroh with a drinking problem, and I don't mean tea), Emperor Pyrros (gonna croak soon), Yasmin (the cosseted intellectual with a raging crush on Anha), Lady Djosaena (Niko's sister and generally whip-smart badass politican), Farnasz (her husband), Matti (her adopted son and teenaged warrior monk), Empress Eirene (Anna Nicole Smith!), Prince Aleksander (Niko's half-brother and blowhard)
Dead people that still deserve brief profiles: Chiowe Ada (Niko and Djosaena's mother), Lief (Anha's husband), Heath (Anha's father),
I also realized the plot is a frantic race to avert rather than precipitate war in a nation that cannot afford human conflict on top of the climatic catastrophe that's grinding their civilization into literal dust. THIS DOESN'T SOUND LIKE ANYWHERE WE KNOW, DOES IT. GEE GOLLY.
Character Profile: Finvair
Anha’s youngest brother, 9 in the prologue and 12 during the main story. His mother Nalja died of childbed fever shortly after he was born, and is very close to his sister as a result. He’s extremely intelligent and levelheaded, but lacks confidence and courage. Unlike his sister, he has wholeheartedly embraced the message of peace and forgiveness offered by the Masamite church, thinks constantly of others, and tries to find a non-violent solution to conflict whenever possible. He doesn’t like physical combat but has been forced to learn, and isn’t half bad, but has never killed, and fears it. Instead of becoming a hunter, he was training to become the next lore master for their tribe, and has a freakishly good auditory memory.
Bound by Grandfather’s magic to the edges of the White City, and also bound to his lord’s life-if Anha kills him, Fin will also die. He serves as playmate/servant/bodyguard to Seloukos’ eldest son Hiron, but has been deemed too cowardly to be of much other use. His shadowworking is clumsy, and the little gods were not impressed enough with him to lend him one of their children's bodies to shift with.
His strength is in his compassion, and will speak against his sister when he feels her rage has overtaken her reason, or restrain her from causing harm even when he risks injury himself.
Character Profile: Grandfather (the mentor)
Centuries ago he was a wizard of the same people as Anha and Fin, and it was his son that went on to found their tribe. He challenged his own chief (his uncle) to a fight to the death, alleging he was a black sorcerer and would lead his people to ruin. Gorarun won, barely, but was fatally wounded. With his dying breath his enemy spat the curse of immortality at him, and, too weak to defend himself, his spirit became locked to the golden circlet the chieftain wore. He became nothing but a mute shade, forced to obey whoever wore the crown, enduring an eternity of life without its physical pleasures. Lord Seloukon’s father, a great collector of mystical and arcane artifacts (this being the only one that was actually magical) discovered the circlet and used him to engineer his rapid rise to power. By the time of the main story Grandfather has forgotten even his name.
He appears as a stout man-shaped shadow with burning white eyes, a terrifying figure. He was a powerful wizard in life, and the unnatural span of years he’s endured have made him even more so. He can send dreams and nighmares, lay bindings, and see or hear anything anywhere within the city walls. What he cannot do is interact directly with the world around him. Seloukon’s grandfather taught him to read and write, and he can communicate only by casting the shadow of letters on the wall.
Hearing his own people’s tongue for the first time in centuries stirred something in him, and he now tries to help his two adopted “grandchildren” in any way he can. He deeply regrets cursing Anha and Fin, and weasels around his lord's commands in any way he can. Fin especially is very grateful for his companionship, and pledged to somehow steal the crown and destroy it, finally freeing him to die.
First off, I hate one-dimensional villains, which is why Voldemort annoys the hell out of me. So, Seloukon:
He’s a handsome man in his early fifties, and pure Kuoros nobleman. He takes pride in his bloodlines and is nationalistic almost to the point of fanaticism. His family has NOT, however, always been as high as they are now, and it makes him a paranoid about that power slipping away.
He is now effectively the ruler of the Empire behind the throne, ever since Emperor Pyross’ mental acuity and overall health began to decline. He does crave power, but does not view this move as malicious or traitorous-he is aiding his country as best he can, by preventing Nikolias, a man with possibly divided loyalties, from ascending the throne and encouraging his mother's people to rebel. Seloukon can be a right bastard when he feels his power is being threatened, and has a sadistic streak he mostly takes out on Anha. And not physically, since he feels himself above such crudities as rape, but emotionally, and has her teetering on the edge of despair.
But, and this is a big but, he doesn’t see himself as an “evil” man, but a pragmatic one. He cares very well for his own household and family, especially for his only son. At first, he had approached Anha with the opportunity for voluntary partnership, and it was only after she refused in disgust that he moved to trap her, because her talents were too valuable to the task of preserving his country. He does horrible, horrible things but believes them justified in service of the greater good.
To be done: Prince Nikolias (equal amounts love interest!!! and annoying sarcastic guy), General Mettic (um, Uncle Iroh with a drinking problem, and I don't mean tea), Emperor Pyrros (gonna croak soon), Yasmin (the cosseted intellectual with a raging crush on Anha), Lady Djosaena (Niko's sister and generally whip-smart badass politican), Farnasz (her husband), Matti (her adopted son and teenaged warrior monk), Empress Eirene (Anna Nicole Smith!), Prince Aleksander (Niko's half-brother and blowhard)
Dead people that still deserve brief profiles: Chiowe Ada (Niko and Djosaena's mother), Lief (Anha's husband), Heath (Anha's father),