French citizenship in one small entry!
Greetings, potential citoyennes! Today's New York Times Op-Ed page ponders what makes someone French. Apparently they've been having trouble because their Muslims don't feel included, even if they were born and raised in France. Some in the country feel that you have to know "French stuff" to be French, and even provided a list of essential tidbits. Here is that list, with the answer key added, so now you're French too! Congratullienes!
[1] Who broke the Soissons vase? This is a trick question, because the short answer is "a soldier." The longer answer is that someone named Clovis, who ironically fought many battles and oversaw much pillaging, was upset about someone breaking a fucking vase and crushed their head in revenge.
[2] What happened to Buridan's donkey? It died of hunger, because it was equally far from two desirable things and couldn't decide which to go for. The paradox is at least as old as Aristotle but Buridan's name is yoked to it for some reason that French people might know.
[3] Why did Parmentier give his name to a hash? Because he was "a vocal promoter of the potato as a food source (for humans)". Huh!
[4] Why did Charles Martel save Christendom? Because he fought off invading Muslims. However, the idea that the Battle of Tours "saved Christendom" was Gibbon's call over 1,000 years after the fact, and it is hotly contested even today (go check Wikipedia). It seems plausible, though. For doubters, I would like to point out that Islam lingered in the Iberian Peninsula until 1492 and is STILL lingering in the Eastern Roman Empire's Capital of Constantinople!
But what about us, over here in USA? People have been arguing over American "Cultural Literacy" since at least the eighties, and while there have been plenty of lists drawn up of what we SHOULD know, has anyone made a decent list of what we ACTUALLY know? Of our shared culture from sea to sea? I'm going to take a stab at it:
[1] What meal did the Pilgrims eat? (It's a trick question in that the Pilgrims called themselves Separatists and probably never ate the classic Thanksgiving anyway)
[2] Name a language besides English that would be useful to speak (another trick question! Answer is "none")
[3] How do you finish this sentence: "My name is Inigo Montoya..."
[4] Name one of the people carved into Mount Rushmore (if you can name all four, you get to be President!)
[1] Who broke the Soissons vase? This is a trick question, because the short answer is "a soldier." The longer answer is that someone named Clovis, who ironically fought many battles and oversaw much pillaging, was upset about someone breaking a fucking vase and crushed their head in revenge.
[2] What happened to Buridan's donkey? It died of hunger, because it was equally far from two desirable things and couldn't decide which to go for. The paradox is at least as old as Aristotle but Buridan's name is yoked to it for some reason that French people might know.
[3] Why did Parmentier give his name to a hash? Because he was "a vocal promoter of the potato as a food source (for humans)". Huh!
[4] Why did Charles Martel save Christendom? Because he fought off invading Muslims. However, the idea that the Battle of Tours "saved Christendom" was Gibbon's call over 1,000 years after the fact, and it is hotly contested even today (go check Wikipedia). It seems plausible, though. For doubters, I would like to point out that Islam lingered in the Iberian Peninsula until 1492 and is STILL lingering in the Eastern Roman Empire's Capital of Constantinople!
But what about us, over here in USA? People have been arguing over American "Cultural Literacy" since at least the eighties, and while there have been plenty of lists drawn up of what we SHOULD know, has anyone made a decent list of what we ACTUALLY know? Of our shared culture from sea to sea? I'm going to take a stab at it:
[1] What meal did the Pilgrims eat? (It's a trick question in that the Pilgrims called themselves Separatists and probably never ate the classic Thanksgiving anyway)
[2] Name a language besides English that would be useful to speak (another trick question! Answer is "none")
[3] How do you finish this sentence: "My name is Inigo Montoya..."
[4] Name one of the people carved into Mount Rushmore (if you can name all four, you get to be President!)