*sigh*
Went to Rep tonight. First one after the break. It was... less than fun. Sometimes I get the impression that Jenn is the only person at the Ballet Academy who actually likes me, and the rest of them just put up with me and make fun of me mercilessly when I'm not around. The looks I get from ballet people make me sad. Especially when I said that since prom was the same day as the show, I wasn't going to be able to be in the evening show. Because I'm not skipping prom. I've been looking forward to my senior prom since I knew what one was. Call me shallow or stupid or whatever, I like getting dressed up all pretty and going to dances, and I won't miss this one. But when I mentioned that to people, the scorn in their voices and the looks on their faces made me want to crawl into a corner and die. "Your PROM is more important than the show?" "If MY prom was the same night as the show, I'D say, 'fuck prom.'" And the most scornful and condescending look I've ever received. If I hadn't been in public, I would have cried. Their reactions have made me too scared to speak with Alison about it in person, and she hasn't brought up the email I sent her last week. I'm terrified of what her judgements will be, if other people's are so harsh.
I remember when I would have given anything to be her. Now I can't imagine being so mean and critical. And also tactless. It's liberating, in a way. On the other hand, I don't want to dislike her, but she keeps her good side so well hidden.
I remember when I would have given anything to be her. Now I can't imagine being so mean and critical. And also tactless. It's liberating, in a way. On the other hand, I don't want to dislike her, but she keeps her good side so well hidden.