Regretful
I hate meaningless sex. It makes me feel so cheap.
I fell asleep at the meet and dreamed. I kept screaming no, please stop. You're hurting me, please stop. Taur woke me up and I was crying. It seems so odd that the same helpless feeling I so desire in sex reduces me to a prone, silent child in my dreams. Maybe I'm hoping that if I do it long enough the bad memories will die beneath the good ones.
Blah.
So.. I bet you're all confused now.
Good.
Keep it that way.
I dunno. I just.. can't stand having sex with people I don't know, but I do it anyways. It's like... getting to know them more than I wanted to know them so soon. And don't get me wrong, I like him, he's very attractive and I like his personality, but, uh.. I dunno. I think I regret this cuz I don't think there will be a repeat. Mrrr. Rosie knows him better than I do, I don't think she would have let me go off with him if she thought he was a bad guy. In fact, I know she thinks he's a good guy. One of the better guys.
Who knows.
GAH
Anxiety bad..
eating.. brain..
Fuck.
At least I liked him, though *sigh*
I fell asleep at the meet and dreamed. I kept screaming no, please stop. You're hurting me, please stop. Taur woke me up and I was crying. It seems so odd that the same helpless feeling I so desire in sex reduces me to a prone, silent child in my dreams. Maybe I'm hoping that if I do it long enough the bad memories will die beneath the good ones.
Blah.
So.. I bet you're all confused now.
Good.
Keep it that way.
I dunno. I just.. can't stand having sex with people I don't know, but I do it anyways. It's like... getting to know them more than I wanted to know them so soon. And don't get me wrong, I like him, he's very attractive and I like his personality, but, uh.. I dunno. I think I regret this cuz I don't think there will be a repeat. Mrrr. Rosie knows him better than I do, I don't think she would have let me go off with him if she thought he was a bad guy. In fact, I know she thinks he's a good guy. One of the better guys.
Who knows.
GAH
Anxiety bad..
eating.. brain..
Fuck.
At least I liked him, though *sigh*