To love is to have a patience of sorrow..
I hate this feeling so much. So much has gone on in the last month and so much of it has to do with Amelia. You know, I once rolled my eyes at those people on TV saying things like "This person dropped into my life one day AND HALELLUJA! MY PROBLEMS WERE SOLVED! MY SEARCH WAS OVER!!!"...although my problems are not gone, I hope my search is over. Amelia has made me happier than anything in a very very long time. She's goofy, uber-intelligent, she has a wonderful smile, and she makes me feel at home when I'm around her. I adore her so much and I think by now, she knows this, but we've discussed some things. To start, she and I have gotten really close, from her calling me at work to have lunch with me to me giving her $100 for groceries because her choice of limited food options somewhat has me worried. The other night, we went out to see BORAT! with Pierre and Colin, only to find out that it was sold out, so we saw The Departed. The whole movie through, I felt like I wanted to hold her hand and do nothing else except smile at her. Well, we all ended up going to the Rock & Roll McDonalds downtown and staying up till 5am when I decided to walk Amelia to her apartment. Well, she and I ended up waiting for some time for a train that wasn't about to come, so we took a cab. While taking the cab ride, I told her how I felt and that either way, relationship or not, she's one of my best friends. I told her about how I would have liked to hold her hand and mean nothing much of it during the movie, she said she's not ready for that. She told me about how she hasn't been treated this nicely before without wanting something in return. I told her she's given me plenty already, and by me giving her $100 is nothing, that she should consider it a repayment for making me so happy this last month.
When she and I hang out, it's like we've known eachother for a long time and it feels awsome. I haven't been this happy since I was little and I have thanked her repeatedly for that. If patience is what I have to have to go out with her, I'll wait however long it may take. But I can't think of any other appropriate word than the fact that I think....I love her..
I'm not the type of idiot who wants to just get in her pants...I want her to go out with me and allow that to be my chance to show her I'm not some horny asshole who wants sex, I want to be her significant other and do what it takes to make her happy.
When she and I hang out, it's like we've known eachother for a long time and it feels awsome. I haven't been this happy since I was little and I have thanked her repeatedly for that. If patience is what I have to have to go out with her, I'll wait however long it may take. But I can't think of any other appropriate word than the fact that I think....I love her..
I'm not the type of idiot who wants to just get in her pants...I want her to go out with me and allow that to be my chance to show her I'm not some horny asshole who wants sex, I want to be her significant other and do what it takes to make her happy.