this is what i have to say.
I feel like I am such a work in progress. There are so many things that I want to do and be, but it's taking time and growing up to get there. That's what I'm trying to do... grow up. Sometimes I feel like I'm half kid and half adult. I'm supposed to have responsibilities like an adult, but sometimes I still feel like I'm a kid. I get upset really easily and I don't always do what I'm supposed to do. But I have such big ambitions for myself. I want to do the things I'm supposed to, and I want to be this person... this responsible person who does what she's supposed to do and doesn't blow her money on starbucks and clothes. I want to be more grown up... but sometimes I just don't act like that. I just want to have fun.
I was so miserable when I was at college and during most of high school. High school was because of drama and social stuff though. College was depression. I was depressed, I didn't get out of bed for 2 weeks at one point. When I came home all I wanted was to be happy, that was it... and now all I want is to be balanced. To take care of what I need to take care of and still be able to have fun and be happy. I don't want to get emotional and upset easily like I usually do and always have. I want to get done what I want to get done and need to do, and make myself a career, and grow up and have a family and that career and be happy then too.
I feel like it's unfair to the people in my life. Having to deal with me trying to grow up. I wish I could just go away and grow up, and come back and have everything be the same it is now. Like I could stop time, grow up, and restart it. Hopefully the people in my life that I care about the most will deal with me. I'm trying my best to be who I want to be, and who some of you need me to be. I have a lot of love and a lot that I want to give. Patience is all I need.
I was so miserable when I was at college and during most of high school. High school was because of drama and social stuff though. College was depression. I was depressed, I didn't get out of bed for 2 weeks at one point. When I came home all I wanted was to be happy, that was it... and now all I want is to be balanced. To take care of what I need to take care of and still be able to have fun and be happy. I don't want to get emotional and upset easily like I usually do and always have. I want to get done what I want to get done and need to do, and make myself a career, and grow up and have a family and that career and be happy then too.
I feel like it's unfair to the people in my life. Having to deal with me trying to grow up. I wish I could just go away and grow up, and come back and have everything be the same it is now. Like I could stop time, grow up, and restart it. Hopefully the people in my life that I care about the most will deal with me. I'm trying my best to be who I want to be, and who some of you need me to be. I have a lot of love and a lot that I want to give. Patience is all I need.