decisions

[evilblueeyes88]

me speaking the M word. I am at a draw. I want to get married and really like this girl I have been seeing. But she is very poor and has a drug conviction. She comes from a very desperate situation. I would be taking on a serious debt and a very big concern. She is depressed and has elluded to going back to using drugs cause her depression is hard to overcome. She has wild friends. She is wild. And she might not change. She will come up here and she wont get a job like she says that she will. She will not do anything close to what she has said she might. She thinks I am a money machine and I do not believe half of the stories that she says. I do not care how good she looks she is full of BS. but on the flip side she is a cute girl with a fun personality she is caring kind and affectionate. She has no mom her dad is about to die. She is the one who conjured up the marriage idea after. I saw her in july and didnt see her again until november. I was not into her that much but she was hot so you know of course i want her. she is a hottie. Hotties are irresistable. But I love women and I know I love to date. I love meeting new women and impressing them. I do not have to do too much cause the personality I have either hits or it misses but when you see that I am a very good catch then you might catch yourself thinking.

what to do ? we had set a date on getting married but i am not into it as much. I will be underway at sea a lot. I will be home 11 days in the next 5 months. kind of a dilima.