One Foot in Front of the Other 5.2
Title: One Foot in Front of the Other
Fandom: RPS
Story: Highway: Collision 5.2
Characters: Alan Davies and Robert Sean Leonard
Authors: michelleann68 + evila_elf = evila_ann
Prompt: coclaim100 61 Lost
Word Count: 1331
Rating: PG
Summary: Robert lands in London, feeling lost as he makes his way to Alan's bedside. Stephen does his best to help.
Authors’ Notes:
Where it all began:
Big table of prompts is here:
Order of the story is here:
Previous story:
A March Frost
The plane landed and Robert was jarred awake. Not that he had slept peacefully, but the combination of the humming of the plane and the low lighting lulled him into a light sleep and he deboarded the plane a little disoriented. He had a small carry on of clothes that he barely recalled Hugh helping him pack, and he made his way to the baggage claim looking for Stephen.
Stephen smiled when he caught Robert's eye and walked over, enveloping him in a warm reassuring embrace.
“How is he?” Robert asked as soon as he was let go.
“As well as can be expected. He came out of surgery,” Stephen paused to look at his watch, “just a tick past three hours ago.” He sounded tired, and Robert wondered how much of the night was spent pacing the hospital corridors.
“So he woke up?”
“Briefly. Was able to satisfactorily answer some questions. Wasn’t awake for long, then he was whisked away for his surgery.” Stephen had been by his side when he had woke. Alan’s eyes had been full of confusion and fear, and he had asked Stephen not to leave. Even when he was out of surgery and unconscious, Stephen was reluctant to leave, but he was bringing someone special with him that he was sure would get Alan’s pardon.
They headed out to the car as Stephen did his best to keep up the small talk, asking about the flight and the weather in LA, even if his words were falling on distracted ears. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Robert’s knuckles were white from his grip on his bag as he watched the scenery go by. A hand over his made him jump. “Alan will be fine,” Stephen interrupted his own monologue to tell him, and Robert realized that there were more people than just him who might be fretting over Alan’s condition. In the silence that followed, he loosened his death grip on his luggage and Stephen patted his hand once before returning his own to the steering wheel.
The drive seemed to take forever, and Robert kept glancing at his watch, surprising himself each time to find that it hadn't been forever, only mere minutes. He laid his head back against the seat, frustrated.
"Only a few ticks more." Stephen had noticed the frequent watch-glances. In fact, he kept glancing at his own. Alan was most definitely not out of the woods yet.
When Stephen pulled into a parking space, Robert all but leapt from the car, then waited for Stephen to join him. Together they quickly walked into Saint Bartholomew’s Hospital. Robert held back while Stephen talked briefly at reception. "No news," he informed, leading Robert to the elevators. "And no news, in this case, is good news, I'm afraid." He pushed the button for the 6th floor and they waited in silence as the elevator slowly began its crawl upwards.
The elevator pinged to a stop and Robert followed Stephen out into the hallway. One. Two. Five paces he fell behind. He wanted to see Alan so bad, but not like this. Not in a hospital. His legs seized and he couldn’t move them. He had traveled over 5000 miles, and now he couldn’t take another step.
Stephen, only able to hear his own footfalls, stopped and turned around. “Robert?”
Robert looked down at his feet helplessly, not able to explain the lack of motion, and his hands clenched into fists against his side.
Stephen retraced his steps to Robert’s side, then wrapped an arm over his shoulders and gave him a small hug.
“I don’t think I want to see him like this.”
“It would mean the world to the dear to know you are visiting him, unconscious or no.”
Robert breathed deeply, trying to steady himself. Things felt too real. Too painful. And he was not sure if he could do this. It was one thing to act out a scene of visiting a sick loved one in the hospital, but the reality was much, much different. It had been years since he had had to see someone in the hospital, and that was when his Nana was dying. He kept reminding himself that this was not the same thing, but that did nothing to reduce the consuming fear of walking towards the door.
He looked up and weakly smiled, working on putting on a mask to hide the cracks that were forming in his countenance. He closed his eyes and inhaled the sharp disinfectant smell of the hospital. Feeling Stephen’s hand on his back push him forward, Robert walked the last few steps and into the small neat hospital room with Alan laying no more than ten feet away.
Robert rubbed his face. He was tired and emotionally wrought, the brightly white and sanitary room was a lot to take in. He took a small step forward and then watched as Stephen walked in front of him and over to the prone figure on the bed.
Stephen tucked the crisp covers tighter around Alan and sat down in one of the small metal chairs. He turned and beckoned Robert forward with a slight tilt of his head.
Robert focused on Stephen and walked over towards the bed. He looked at the pale form tucked under white sheets and thought that, if it wasn’t for the shock of dark curls and lashes, Alan would seem invisible. He was so pale. His lips were puckered and uneven from the dry and sterile air in the hospital and the faint shadow of a beard had just started to mar his creamy white skin. There was an IV line running into the top of his hand, tape haphazardly holding it in place. He looked too clean, too much like porcelain for any of this to be real.
Robert started to take a step back, but felt Stephen’s hand on his back guiding him to the chair placed close to the bed. Robert took a deep breath and slipped his fingers into Alan’s palm. Alan’s skin felt warm, not cold, and very much alive, and Robert smiled for the first time since he heard about Alan’s accident. At a loss for words and not wanting to completely embarrass himself in front of Stephen, he leaned forward, getting as close as he could. With eyes closed and head bent, hair brushing a shoulder, he thought of all the things he wanted to be able to say out loud, but could never find the voice to utter them, not even to himself.
Stroking the side of Alan’s hand, he told Alan about the future he wanted for them, time spent supporting and encouraging each other, tickle fights and late nights reading books or cuddled in each other’s arms. He knew he was ready to be there, to be with Alan, but he had no idea why he couldn’t just say it, just tell him. He had no idea what he would do if something happened to this man. He felt a pain in his chest at the thought of never seeing Alan’s smile again hit him like a ton of bricks, leaving him feeling empty, a little lonely, and a lot lost. A sob escaped his lips and he felt Stephen’s reassuring pat on his back. Robert squeezed Alan’s hand, hoping for some response. He turned to look at Stephen.
Question anticipated, Stephen said, “He will be asleep for awhile yet. Could be an hour, could be a day.”
Robert nodded and returned his attention to Alan, glad that he had taken the final steps to be by his side and in the same room. He closed his eyes and listened to the slow in and outtake of breaths, starting to get drowsy. Somewhere, in the fog that was surrounding his brain, he heard Stephen excuse himself and the soft clicks of the opening and closing door. No longer able to stay awake, he started to drift off.
5.3 In the Blink of an Eye
Fandom: RPS
Story: Highway: Collision 5.2
Characters: Alan Davies and Robert Sean Leonard
Authors: michelleann68 + evila_elf = evila_ann
Prompt: coclaim100 61 Lost
Word Count: 1331
Rating: PG
Summary: Robert lands in London, feeling lost as he makes his way to Alan's bedside. Stephen does his best to help.
Authors’ Notes:
Where it all began:
Big table of prompts is here:
Order of the story is here:
Previous story:
A March Frost
The plane landed and Robert was jarred awake. Not that he had slept peacefully, but the combination of the humming of the plane and the low lighting lulled him into a light sleep and he deboarded the plane a little disoriented. He had a small carry on of clothes that he barely recalled Hugh helping him pack, and he made his way to the baggage claim looking for Stephen.
Stephen smiled when he caught Robert's eye and walked over, enveloping him in a warm reassuring embrace.
“How is he?” Robert asked as soon as he was let go.
“As well as can be expected. He came out of surgery,” Stephen paused to look at his watch, “just a tick past three hours ago.” He sounded tired, and Robert wondered how much of the night was spent pacing the hospital corridors.
“So he woke up?”
“Briefly. Was able to satisfactorily answer some questions. Wasn’t awake for long, then he was whisked away for his surgery.” Stephen had been by his side when he had woke. Alan’s eyes had been full of confusion and fear, and he had asked Stephen not to leave. Even when he was out of surgery and unconscious, Stephen was reluctant to leave, but he was bringing someone special with him that he was sure would get Alan’s pardon.
They headed out to the car as Stephen did his best to keep up the small talk, asking about the flight and the weather in LA, even if his words were falling on distracted ears. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Robert’s knuckles were white from his grip on his bag as he watched the scenery go by. A hand over his made him jump. “Alan will be fine,” Stephen interrupted his own monologue to tell him, and Robert realized that there were more people than just him who might be fretting over Alan’s condition. In the silence that followed, he loosened his death grip on his luggage and Stephen patted his hand once before returning his own to the steering wheel.
The drive seemed to take forever, and Robert kept glancing at his watch, surprising himself each time to find that it hadn't been forever, only mere minutes. He laid his head back against the seat, frustrated.
"Only a few ticks more." Stephen had noticed the frequent watch-glances. In fact, he kept glancing at his own. Alan was most definitely not out of the woods yet.
When Stephen pulled into a parking space, Robert all but leapt from the car, then waited for Stephen to join him. Together they quickly walked into Saint Bartholomew’s Hospital. Robert held back while Stephen talked briefly at reception. "No news," he informed, leading Robert to the elevators. "And no news, in this case, is good news, I'm afraid." He pushed the button for the 6th floor and they waited in silence as the elevator slowly began its crawl upwards.
The elevator pinged to a stop and Robert followed Stephen out into the hallway. One. Two. Five paces he fell behind. He wanted to see Alan so bad, but not like this. Not in a hospital. His legs seized and he couldn’t move them. He had traveled over 5000 miles, and now he couldn’t take another step.
Stephen, only able to hear his own footfalls, stopped and turned around. “Robert?”
Robert looked down at his feet helplessly, not able to explain the lack of motion, and his hands clenched into fists against his side.
Stephen retraced his steps to Robert’s side, then wrapped an arm over his shoulders and gave him a small hug.
“I don’t think I want to see him like this.”
“It would mean the world to the dear to know you are visiting him, unconscious or no.”
Robert breathed deeply, trying to steady himself. Things felt too real. Too painful. And he was not sure if he could do this. It was one thing to act out a scene of visiting a sick loved one in the hospital, but the reality was much, much different. It had been years since he had had to see someone in the hospital, and that was when his Nana was dying. He kept reminding himself that this was not the same thing, but that did nothing to reduce the consuming fear of walking towards the door.
He looked up and weakly smiled, working on putting on a mask to hide the cracks that were forming in his countenance. He closed his eyes and inhaled the sharp disinfectant smell of the hospital. Feeling Stephen’s hand on his back push him forward, Robert walked the last few steps and into the small neat hospital room with Alan laying no more than ten feet away.
Robert rubbed his face. He was tired and emotionally wrought, the brightly white and sanitary room was a lot to take in. He took a small step forward and then watched as Stephen walked in front of him and over to the prone figure on the bed.
Stephen tucked the crisp covers tighter around Alan and sat down in one of the small metal chairs. He turned and beckoned Robert forward with a slight tilt of his head.
Robert focused on Stephen and walked over towards the bed. He looked at the pale form tucked under white sheets and thought that, if it wasn’t for the shock of dark curls and lashes, Alan would seem invisible. He was so pale. His lips were puckered and uneven from the dry and sterile air in the hospital and the faint shadow of a beard had just started to mar his creamy white skin. There was an IV line running into the top of his hand, tape haphazardly holding it in place. He looked too clean, too much like porcelain for any of this to be real.
Robert started to take a step back, but felt Stephen’s hand on his back guiding him to the chair placed close to the bed. Robert took a deep breath and slipped his fingers into Alan’s palm. Alan’s skin felt warm, not cold, and very much alive, and Robert smiled for the first time since he heard about Alan’s accident. At a loss for words and not wanting to completely embarrass himself in front of Stephen, he leaned forward, getting as close as he could. With eyes closed and head bent, hair brushing a shoulder, he thought of all the things he wanted to be able to say out loud, but could never find the voice to utter them, not even to himself.
Stroking the side of Alan’s hand, he told Alan about the future he wanted for them, time spent supporting and encouraging each other, tickle fights and late nights reading books or cuddled in each other’s arms. He knew he was ready to be there, to be with Alan, but he had no idea why he couldn’t just say it, just tell him. He had no idea what he would do if something happened to this man. He felt a pain in his chest at the thought of never seeing Alan’s smile again hit him like a ton of bricks, leaving him feeling empty, a little lonely, and a lot lost. A sob escaped his lips and he felt Stephen’s reassuring pat on his back. Robert squeezed Alan’s hand, hoping for some response. He turned to look at Stephen.
Question anticipated, Stephen said, “He will be asleep for awhile yet. Could be an hour, could be a day.”
Robert nodded and returned his attention to Alan, glad that he had taken the final steps to be by his side and in the same room. He closed his eyes and listened to the slow in and outtake of breaths, starting to get drowsy. Somewhere, in the fog that was surrounding his brain, he heard Stephen excuse himself and the soft clicks of the opening and closing door. No longer able to stay awake, he started to drift off.
5.3 In the Blink of an Eye