charts, graphics, real estate, store, business reports, plans. Parcels?!
The first day of the end of my life. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ME! the big two one.
I am in my Business Writing class. As you can see, the excitement of restarting the LJ didn't pan out last time. It's one year later, and all I have under my belt is two more completed semesters (all with 4.0s that probably don't mean shit), a couple more songs written between Roxy and I, a rented house with Roxy and my mom, no drummer, no bassist, no shows played, a fast-fizzling long distance "relationship", a lack of motivation, $1500 worth of debt, a pretend part time job, and the right to drink in a bar.
Exciting, I know.
I shouldn't be this depressed on my 21st birthday... I should care more about things. I should be working harder towards forming my future. But I'm just chilling through life. Going to school and scraping by. I woke up and cried today. LAME... I am currently about to give up on forcing a relationship that just isn't even meant to be! I know why, too. I just don't want to be alone. But even if we're "together", I am still alone. He lives 600 miles away and isn't even into this relationship. I straight up told him last night that if he doesn't want to be with me, tell me now, and that if he really doesn't love me, don't say it to me. He said he loved me first. Now he claims he doesn't know to what extent... WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!? He says sometimes he wants to be with me and sometimes he doesn't. Whatever. I've gotten a birthday wish from tons of people, but not from the guy who's supposed to mean the most. I used to wake up to a very sweet message on my phone every morning until about 2 weeks ago. And not even for my birthday? I woke up and there was one from my dad. But he's the only man who will always be there for me. What's a girl with out her Daddy any way?
One thing I didn't mention in all my pessimism is that in the last year, I have accumulated more great friends. I know tonight I won't be upset. They all make me laugh so hard. And also I have rebuilt a very important friendship that probably wouldn't have been made as strong as it is with out this guy I will call "Boy". He was good for that at least. I knew I could always go up and spend time with her, but I just never "got around" to it, I guess? Any who. I met Boy through her, and Boy and I decided to first meet at her place and spent the weekend her and her man. It was awesome. Now I am certain I can go up any time we've got free time, and I have the gas money to drive up there. I couldn't be happier about that.
So yeah... as moms always stress and friends always tell you, it's bros before hoes man. It doesn't matter how I get walked on by ANY guy, friends and family are always there to pick me up and dust me off.
I love you: Mom, Dad, Roxy, Ammie, Kristen, Leslie, Brittany, Cattie, Steve0, all my brothers and sisters, Matty, Mary, Jared, Marie, Becca, Evey, Stacie, Lindsay, Kris, Corinne, Jimmy Limmy, Meechelle, Kiersten, Emily, Jon Jon, Dennis, every one in Kiros! :), Sarah, Lance, Ben, Andrew, Anthony, Mike, Jahsmore, Holly, Jim, Zech, Vee, Tomzenns, Alexa, Mr. Tinkles, Tyler, Hitomi, Kyle, Vincent, Brandon, Lisa, Alberto, Jon, Bug, Cesar, The Pink Spiders, The Summer Obsession, New Years Day, and many other sweet bands I've rocked with...
You all in the last year have brought laughter in my life. I know there are more of you, but it's hard to name you all. That is the greatest gift I could ever receive. I gotta jet, so I'm going to stop being a mushy douche. But I do love you guys! BUH!
Happy B-day To Me!
I am in my Business Writing class. As you can see, the excitement of restarting the LJ didn't pan out last time. It's one year later, and all I have under my belt is two more completed semesters (all with 4.0s that probably don't mean shit), a couple more songs written between Roxy and I, a rented house with Roxy and my mom, no drummer, no bassist, no shows played, a fast-fizzling long distance "relationship", a lack of motivation, $1500 worth of debt, a pretend part time job, and the right to drink in a bar.
Exciting, I know.
I shouldn't be this depressed on my 21st birthday... I should care more about things. I should be working harder towards forming my future. But I'm just chilling through life. Going to school and scraping by. I woke up and cried today. LAME... I am currently about to give up on forcing a relationship that just isn't even meant to be! I know why, too. I just don't want to be alone. But even if we're "together", I am still alone. He lives 600 miles away and isn't even into this relationship. I straight up told him last night that if he doesn't want to be with me, tell me now, and that if he really doesn't love me, don't say it to me. He said he loved me first. Now he claims he doesn't know to what extent... WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!? He says sometimes he wants to be with me and sometimes he doesn't. Whatever. I've gotten a birthday wish from tons of people, but not from the guy who's supposed to mean the most. I used to wake up to a very sweet message on my phone every morning until about 2 weeks ago. And not even for my birthday? I woke up and there was one from my dad. But he's the only man who will always be there for me. What's a girl with out her Daddy any way?
One thing I didn't mention in all my pessimism is that in the last year, I have accumulated more great friends. I know tonight I won't be upset. They all make me laugh so hard. And also I have rebuilt a very important friendship that probably wouldn't have been made as strong as it is with out this guy I will call "Boy". He was good for that at least. I knew I could always go up and spend time with her, but I just never "got around" to it, I guess? Any who. I met Boy through her, and Boy and I decided to first meet at her place and spent the weekend her and her man. It was awesome. Now I am certain I can go up any time we've got free time, and I have the gas money to drive up there. I couldn't be happier about that.
So yeah... as moms always stress and friends always tell you, it's bros before hoes man. It doesn't matter how I get walked on by ANY guy, friends and family are always there to pick me up and dust me off.
I love you: Mom, Dad, Roxy, Ammie, Kristen, Leslie, Brittany, Cattie, Steve0, all my brothers and sisters, Matty, Mary, Jared, Marie, Becca, Evey, Stacie, Lindsay, Kris, Corinne, Jimmy Limmy, Meechelle, Kiersten, Emily, Jon Jon, Dennis, every one in Kiros! :), Sarah, Lance, Ben, Andrew, Anthony, Mike, Jahsmore, Holly, Jim, Zech, Vee, Tomzenns, Alexa, Mr. Tinkles, Tyler, Hitomi, Kyle, Vincent, Brandon, Lisa, Alberto, Jon, Bug, Cesar, The Pink Spiders, The Summer Obsession, New Years Day, and many other sweet bands I've rocked with...
You all in the last year have brought laughter in my life. I know there are more of you, but it's hard to name you all. That is the greatest gift I could ever receive. I gotta jet, so I'm going to stop being a mushy douche. But I do love you guys! BUH!
Happy B-day To Me!