Round Three of the Circle of Friends Remix is now open at cof_remix

[evil_little_dog]

Title: Light A Spark (‘The Way of the Flesh’ Remix)
Author: evil_little_dog
Fandom: The Hunger Games
Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: Characters from The Hunger Games are property of Suzanne Collins, Scholastic Press (book series), and Lionsgate (film).
Original Story: A Breath on the Embers by aadler). Written for the 2013 round of cof_remix.
Spoiler(s)/Warnings: A.R. of

Comments

[aadler]

Will comment more fully later when I have better than a tenuous smartphone link. For now, nice job.

[evil_little_dog]

I hope it stands up to second reading.

[comlodge]

A powerful first line that will wither draw the reader in or let them know to move on. I love the last paragraph - very evocative and a powerful summation of the subject matter.

[evil_little_dog]

Thank you! I wanted to convey Katniss's horror in that first line, and set the tone for the rest of the story.

[aadler]

So, I’m back.

You know, I honestly never thought of what the long-term effect on Prim herself might be. I assumed the revolution would proceed, with a different trigger and different step-points, but didn’t consider what part the trigger person might play. Maybe she’ll be insignificant, maybe a major player, but I keep thinking about it now, thanks to your depiction.

And you did a much better job than me - show-not-tell - of describing the monster unleashed, the flame ignited. Just in the background, just in the distant sounds of a crowd, but … yes. Yes, indeed.

[evil_little_dog]

I loved writing the crowd. The surge of that power has to be felt everywhere. Perhaps that surge would have a completely different effect against the Peacekeepers. It might be too strong for Snow to control.

Prim may be too broken to play much of a part. Then again, she may becomes frighteningly competent.