So I had this dream...
...where I was on this spaceship.
There were various characters I knew on this spaceship, mostly ones whom I disliked. There were a few exceptions, 3 to be exact.
One was a girl I know, the others were
http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/walt_disney/recess__school_s_out/james_woods/recess.jpg
^ James Woods
and
http://www.monitor.net/monitor/0307a/lovitz.gif
^ Jon Lovitz
Anyway, I was driving this space ship and I decided to pit-stop on some random planet.
So we all get out, and Mr.Woods gives me this bag of baloons. I ask what they were for, and he said: "Listen kid, you get respect around here by telling the truth. If you lie, you are a bad person. So I guess you gotta be careful what you say these days, especially on this planet. Aliens don't give a shit about you until you get sick of their planet and leave. Despite how much they resented you on their planet, after you leave it, they'll worship you. Understand?"
I told him I did, but I still did not know what the balloons were for. So just as I said that, Mr.Lovitz ran up and snatched the balloons out of my hand, took one out, and proceeded to inflate it and contort it into something and held it above his head.
He screamed: "It is a lollipop! Only upside-down!"
I told him I was thoroughly impressed by his balloon-lollipop-making-skills. So then we got back into the spaceship. All the unimportant characters, I made them sit in the cargo area. Right in the pile of dead mules, red-slaves, and tasmanian baracuda leopards.
I wouldn't have complained at all if I were them. They had all the rotting aquanis-felinius bacteria cells they could possibly ask for. Which of course sat next to a chain-gang of Cambodian war criminals who ate live scorpions, a pitbull with leprosy, and an old half-gorilla-half-dolphin-hybrid creature who could make beautiful music by blowing into faulty bazooka shells.
So we were cruising along the "space road". The space road wasn't really a road, but a star pattern that formed two paralell lines that you could drive inbetween.
So we drove along the space road and then Mr.Lovitz got up out of his seat suddenly and exclaimed: "YOU PEOPLE! HOLY SCAT! YOUR ASSES ARE MADE OF CANDY! AND I HATE CANDY!"
So then I turned to him and said: "You sir, are a profound passenger of my spaceship, and I thank you for your company."
I noticed I was getting bored. So I put the spaceship on cruise-control and went to the back to the cargo area to maim the unimportants. My weapon of choice was a large Hzekthroplarian war-spear that I had found on a dead footsoldier in the great war of Hzekthroplaria.
James Woods advised me to go easy on the womanfolk condemned to my glorious cargo area.
I told him:
"There is only one woman for me, and she is in the important area. The unimportant's area is a place for my sadistic pleasures to be fufilled. In space, I seem to get some weird satisfaction of spearing peons who serve no purpose, but to be tortured for my amusement. I truly am a wicked man amidst the infinite celestial atmosphere. Out here, only the stars can know the real me."
He then said something like "Okay. You're the boss, boss."
And so I speared away at the unimportants with a menacing grimace upon my face. But just as I was cleaning the blood off of my Hzekthroplarian war-spear, the space ship was hit by an asteroid. Ironically, it struck the unimportant's area, the cargo area.
Instinctively, I hit the button that split the ship into two seperate ships. The important side, and the unimportant side (which was nearly destroyed).
Jon Lovtitz suddenly hopped up again, even quicker than before.
He then said:"WHAT KIND OF SPACESHIP NEEDS CARGO?! TO HELL WITH CARGO! HA!"
and sat back down.
Then I woke up and took a gigantic shit and went about my day.
-End post.
There were various characters I knew on this spaceship, mostly ones whom I disliked. There were a few exceptions, 3 to be exact.
One was a girl I know, the others were
http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.com/images/hv/photo/movie_pix/walt_disney/recess__school_s_out/james_woods/recess.jpg
^ James Woods
and
http://www.monitor.net/monitor/0307a/lovitz.gif
^ Jon Lovitz
Anyway, I was driving this space ship and I decided to pit-stop on some random planet.
So we all get out, and Mr.Woods gives me this bag of baloons. I ask what they were for, and he said: "Listen kid, you get respect around here by telling the truth. If you lie, you are a bad person. So I guess you gotta be careful what you say these days, especially on this planet. Aliens don't give a shit about you until you get sick of their planet and leave. Despite how much they resented you on their planet, after you leave it, they'll worship you. Understand?"
I told him I did, but I still did not know what the balloons were for. So just as I said that, Mr.Lovitz ran up and snatched the balloons out of my hand, took one out, and proceeded to inflate it and contort it into something and held it above his head.
He screamed: "It is a lollipop! Only upside-down!"
I told him I was thoroughly impressed by his balloon-lollipop-making-skills. So then we got back into the spaceship. All the unimportant characters, I made them sit in the cargo area. Right in the pile of dead mules, red-slaves, and tasmanian baracuda leopards.
I wouldn't have complained at all if I were them. They had all the rotting aquanis-felinius bacteria cells they could possibly ask for. Which of course sat next to a chain-gang of Cambodian war criminals who ate live scorpions, a pitbull with leprosy, and an old half-gorilla-half-dolphin-hybrid creature who could make beautiful music by blowing into faulty bazooka shells.
So we were cruising along the "space road". The space road wasn't really a road, but a star pattern that formed two paralell lines that you could drive inbetween.
So we drove along the space road and then Mr.Lovitz got up out of his seat suddenly and exclaimed: "YOU PEOPLE! HOLY SCAT! YOUR ASSES ARE MADE OF CANDY! AND I HATE CANDY!"
So then I turned to him and said: "You sir, are a profound passenger of my spaceship, and I thank you for your company."
I noticed I was getting bored. So I put the spaceship on cruise-control and went to the back to the cargo area to maim the unimportants. My weapon of choice was a large Hzekthroplarian war-spear that I had found on a dead footsoldier in the great war of Hzekthroplaria.
James Woods advised me to go easy on the womanfolk condemned to my glorious cargo area.
I told him:
"There is only one woman for me, and she is in the important area. The unimportant's area is a place for my sadistic pleasures to be fufilled. In space, I seem to get some weird satisfaction of spearing peons who serve no purpose, but to be tortured for my amusement. I truly am a wicked man amidst the infinite celestial atmosphere. Out here, only the stars can know the real me."
He then said something like "Okay. You're the boss, boss."
And so I speared away at the unimportants with a menacing grimace upon my face. But just as I was cleaning the blood off of my Hzekthroplarian war-spear, the space ship was hit by an asteroid. Ironically, it struck the unimportant's area, the cargo area.
Instinctively, I hit the button that split the ship into two seperate ships. The important side, and the unimportant side (which was nearly destroyed).
Jon Lovtitz suddenly hopped up again, even quicker than before.
He then said:"WHAT KIND OF SPACESHIP NEEDS CARGO?! TO HELL WITH CARGO! HA!"
and sat back down.
Then I woke up and took a gigantic shit and went about my day.
-End post.