"Been through so much in my life, seen things in my life, that i never thought i'd make it though"
I finally confirmed my registration for my schooling. I'm got into Intro to Psychology. I wonder what I'm getting myself into with that. I over analyze things too much as it is already dammit.
I havent heard back from Isaiah's dad yet. According to his mom, he's married. Grr!! eh, oh well. I'll have to see him anyway when we go to court for child support. I learned he's in the national guard and I finally got his last name. Yes, i didnt know his last name. I know, I know. Things keep running through my head about him. What am I gonna tell him? What the hell am I gonna tell Adrian? "Gee thanks for taking care of a kid that's not yours but I already told his real father."?? I afraid Adrian will abandon Isaiah and then what? So I decided not to tell Adrian that I'm hunting Jose down. As well that if Jose wants to be in his life, we are not to tell Isaiah of who he is til he's older, he can come around as one of my friends but he is not to know the truth right now. I think that is the only thing that Adrian did, that I can commend him for. Playing the role of a daddy to a lil boy that was not his. Even after the rough breakup, he's never brought up the fact that Isiah isn't his. He treats all the same and til recently i never actually thought about it. One of these days, after all the bitterness and anger fades, I want to thank him.
Last night, I couldn't sleep. I went outside for some air and looked above me. Millions of twinkling stars danced above me. I stared at them for a long while and sighed. a beautiful sky and no one to share it with. How sad....someday Olga....someday.
I havent heard back from Isaiah's dad yet. According to his mom, he's married. Grr!! eh, oh well. I'll have to see him anyway when we go to court for child support. I learned he's in the national guard and I finally got his last name. Yes, i didnt know his last name. I know, I know. Things keep running through my head about him. What am I gonna tell him? What the hell am I gonna tell Adrian? "Gee thanks for taking care of a kid that's not yours but I already told his real father."?? I afraid Adrian will abandon Isaiah and then what? So I decided not to tell Adrian that I'm hunting Jose down. As well that if Jose wants to be in his life, we are not to tell Isaiah of who he is til he's older, he can come around as one of my friends but he is not to know the truth right now. I think that is the only thing that Adrian did, that I can commend him for. Playing the role of a daddy to a lil boy that was not his. Even after the rough breakup, he's never brought up the fact that Isiah isn't his. He treats all the same and til recently i never actually thought about it. One of these days, after all the bitterness and anger fades, I want to thank him.
Last night, I couldn't sleep. I went outside for some air and looked above me. Millions of twinkling stars danced above me. I stared at them for a long while and sighed. a beautiful sky and no one to share it with. How sad....someday Olga....someday.