Better be street if your lookin at me, I need a soldier, that aint scared to stand up for me
Day 1
Time: 5:09pm
Music: A wide variety of different songs to make me hate "him"
What's on my mind?: Alot of things, trying to focus on the positive but the fear of failing at this living alone crap scares the shit outta me. What else? Fear of taking him back. Yeah I know me already. It would be so much easier to just take him back when he comes back but....even my new friends are saying I'm stupid if I take him back. I've done it so many times, I'm not even gonna sit her and say I will never take him back. But to really honest....I don't want to. The thing is, I am happier without him. I can breathe easier. But....I dont know.....why I keep taking him back. To lay it all out here.. i can honestly say that I have no fucking idea why I take him back but it's like I see myself doing all this stupid shit.....and I still do it. I can't explain it. Something is wrong with em I guess.
I was listening to the radio and I realized that alot of songs remind me of certain people. Mostly cuz of the lyrics. Here were a few:
Adrian:
Three Days Grace:I hate everything about you
Nickelback: This is how you remind me
Bon Jovi: Shot through the heart
Akon: Lonley (dedicated to me)
Extreme: More than Words (our song)
Cynthia: Change on me
Gloria Gaynor: I will survive
Isley Brothers: Busted
Nickelback:Someday (dedicated to me)
Tamika
(Pre-breakup)
Usher: You make me wanna
Avant: Read your mind
Avant: Making good love
Jon b & Babyface:Someone to love
Temptations: My Girl ( that one always made me smile)
Usher: Nice and Slow
Lumidee: I'll never leave you
(Afterwards....)
Bow wow: Let me hold you
Mario: Let me love you
Mariah Carey: We belong together
Usher: Burn (this one still hurts when I hear it)
Usher: My Boo
Pussycat Dolls: Don't ya wish your girlfriend (it makes me laugh cuz she knows it's true, lmao)
Tony:
Alicia Keys: If I ain't got you
Usher: You got it bad
Jay z feat Beyonce: Bonnie and Cylde
Big Tymers: Oh Yeah (He'd sing it to me in front of friends, lol)*blushes*
Lonestar: Amazed ( I can still see him looking into my eyes while he's holding me....)*sigh*
Simple Plan: I'd do anything
Simple plan: Addicted
3 doors down: Here without you (brings back memories of me bieng in PA with him)
3 doors down: when I'm gone
Alan Jackson: Chattahootchie (it was the song he chose when we were drinking at the bar with his family)
Ashanti: Only you (the second I heard it, it reminded me of him, even after the break up)
Eamon: Fuck it ( The only song that I can't bear to listen to...he dedicated it to me after I messed up and he ended the relationship, leave it a song to make yourself kick yourself in the ass)
That's that at least for the main ex's that fucked me up in the head. Fuck em all, they didnt deserve me anyway.
Time: 5:09pm
Music: A wide variety of different songs to make me hate "him"
What's on my mind?: Alot of things, trying to focus on the positive but the fear of failing at this living alone crap scares the shit outta me. What else? Fear of taking him back. Yeah I know me already. It would be so much easier to just take him back when he comes back but....even my new friends are saying I'm stupid if I take him back. I've done it so many times, I'm not even gonna sit her and say I will never take him back. But to really honest....I don't want to. The thing is, I am happier without him. I can breathe easier. But....I dont know.....why I keep taking him back. To lay it all out here.. i can honestly say that I have no fucking idea why I take him back but it's like I see myself doing all this stupid shit.....and I still do it. I can't explain it. Something is wrong with em I guess.
I was listening to the radio and I realized that alot of songs remind me of certain people. Mostly cuz of the lyrics. Here were a few:
Adrian:
Three Days Grace:I hate everything about you
Nickelback: This is how you remind me
Bon Jovi: Shot through the heart
Akon: Lonley (dedicated to me)
Extreme: More than Words (our song)
Cynthia: Change on me
Gloria Gaynor: I will survive
Isley Brothers: Busted
Nickelback:Someday (dedicated to me)
Tamika
(Pre-breakup)
Usher: You make me wanna
Avant: Read your mind
Avant: Making good love
Jon b & Babyface:Someone to love
Temptations: My Girl ( that one always made me smile)
Usher: Nice and Slow
Lumidee: I'll never leave you
(Afterwards....)
Bow wow: Let me hold you
Mario: Let me love you
Mariah Carey: We belong together
Usher: Burn (this one still hurts when I hear it)
Usher: My Boo
Pussycat Dolls: Don't ya wish your girlfriend (it makes me laugh cuz she knows it's true, lmao)
Tony:
Alicia Keys: If I ain't got you
Usher: You got it bad
Jay z feat Beyonce: Bonnie and Cylde
Big Tymers: Oh Yeah (He'd sing it to me in front of friends, lol)*blushes*
Lonestar: Amazed ( I can still see him looking into my eyes while he's holding me....)*sigh*
Simple Plan: I'd do anything
Simple plan: Addicted
3 doors down: Here without you (brings back memories of me bieng in PA with him)
3 doors down: when I'm gone
Alan Jackson: Chattahootchie (it was the song he chose when we were drinking at the bar with his family)
Ashanti: Only you (the second I heard it, it reminded me of him, even after the break up)
Eamon: Fuck it ( The only song that I can't bear to listen to...he dedicated it to me after I messed up and he ended the relationship, leave it a song to make yourself kick yourself in the ass)
That's that at least for the main ex's that fucked me up in the head. Fuck em all, they didnt deserve me anyway.