i don't even know
I feel like writing, writing until my head begins to scream and my hands fall off. Everything is bugging me lately though today was okay. Bowling was fun an d all but I felt... out of place. I felt uncomfortable. I was quiet and my friend noticed and what's worse is that her boyfriend did too. I never knew that my emotions were so apparent on my face.. I guess it was today. I felt tired, exhausted, lonely, annoyed, sad, heart broken, and every other emotion.. I go from one emotion to the other but there are a few that are dominant though.
The song I'm listening to fits well. My heart is searching for something, something of comfort and I don't know what it is. I feel lost and panicky. i don't want school to start, I don't want to sleep but I need it, I don't want to study, I just want to lie in bed, and pretend I live in my dreams.
I love my friends and my family, don't get me wrong or anything when i say the following. But my parents are getting on my nerves, and i want to be left alone sometimes and that's when they decide to be all over my case. My friends are great, fun to talk to but there are times I've felt like I can't talk to them. I can't even talk to myself these days, either though. I can't reason with myself anymore.
I've started doing my ap homework and I've been studying for awhile so at least I'm doing something. I just wish I could do something more worthwhile. I feel like I'm just a waste of space lately, though, I think I've always thought of myself that way. i'd hardly admit the things I think of myself because everyone will try to make me think otherwise, even if it's true. Or maybe I just see myself in this warped, twisted way. Eh.
I feel like listening to sad and love songs all night and fall asleep. I'll go to bed now since I'm so tired but I don't want to. That's why I'm unhealthy these days, and so tired.
Night all.
Shelly
The song I'm listening to fits well. My heart is searching for something, something of comfort and I don't know what it is. I feel lost and panicky. i don't want school to start, I don't want to sleep but I need it, I don't want to study, I just want to lie in bed, and pretend I live in my dreams.
I love my friends and my family, don't get me wrong or anything when i say the following. But my parents are getting on my nerves, and i want to be left alone sometimes and that's when they decide to be all over my case. My friends are great, fun to talk to but there are times I've felt like I can't talk to them. I can't even talk to myself these days, either though. I can't reason with myself anymore.
I've started doing my ap homework and I've been studying for awhile so at least I'm doing something. I just wish I could do something more worthwhile. I feel like I'm just a waste of space lately, though, I think I've always thought of myself that way. i'd hardly admit the things I think of myself because everyone will try to make me think otherwise, even if it's true. Or maybe I just see myself in this warped, twisted way. Eh.
I feel like listening to sad and love songs all night and fall asleep. I'll go to bed now since I'm so tired but I don't want to. That's why I'm unhealthy these days, and so tired.
Night all.
Shelly