the first deep post in a while
well, summer is well, sucking. i haven't done much except get a few people mad at me and make myself depressed. not much fun. and i hate it when i tell someone how i feel and get absolutely no response from them or they want to pull way too much out of me yet i receive nothing in return. it's so lame how i feel used all the time. and then i do one thing wrong, and the whole world turns its back on me. i quit. seriously. all you people can go to hell for all i care. i'll make new friends who won't take me for such a push over. you know what, i am not perfect and neither are you. so get over it and just accept that i am an emotional person sometimes, and if it scares you, then bah, i do not care. that is me.
besides all the bitching, there's not much else to say. i miss the people who keep me grounded and those that like to put my head in the clouds. where did they go?
also, i'm not so sure i like serial killers. this quote is from a dream last night: "If you accept a trap, you might as well accept death." Yes, I dreamt that i was being chased by a serial killer. he used a machete and a tennis racket. and he was very old. and i fell in love with the guy i thought was the killer at first but he turned out to be a very saavy survivor and extremely hot. i'm thinking about making a movie about it, if it weren't so emotionally scarring.
okay, explanation. death has been a big subject in my life right now. you see, my neighbor's dad is dying. my neighbor, by the way, lives under me in my mom's duplex house. and her dad is staying with her right now. i have only once been around someone else who was dying, and i wasn't too fond of that either. so i'm freaked out that someone is dying within a few feet of me. Also, my mom has been basically preparing for her trip and saying that if she dies i have to do so and so. it's not fun when your mom talks about herself dying all the time. and then there was my dream. i'm not sure what it all means. and i hope it amounts to nothing but fear. i wish i could analyze dreams well.
there's always drugs of course.
besides all the bitching, there's not much else to say. i miss the people who keep me grounded and those that like to put my head in the clouds. where did they go?
also, i'm not so sure i like serial killers. this quote is from a dream last night: "If you accept a trap, you might as well accept death." Yes, I dreamt that i was being chased by a serial killer. he used a machete and a tennis racket. and he was very old. and i fell in love with the guy i thought was the killer at first but he turned out to be a very saavy survivor and extremely hot. i'm thinking about making a movie about it, if it weren't so emotionally scarring.
okay, explanation. death has been a big subject in my life right now. you see, my neighbor's dad is dying. my neighbor, by the way, lives under me in my mom's duplex house. and her dad is staying with her right now. i have only once been around someone else who was dying, and i wasn't too fond of that either. so i'm freaked out that someone is dying within a few feet of me. Also, my mom has been basically preparing for her trip and saying that if she dies i have to do so and so. it's not fun when your mom talks about herself dying all the time. and then there was my dream. i'm not sure what it all means. and i hope it amounts to nothing but fear. i wish i could analyze dreams well.
there's always drugs of course.