Ahhhhhh, this was so right. I loved the use of the Allorans and the scenes from their lives, playing themselves out in John's mind. The scenario worked so well for the sort of emotional struggle I had in mind when I wrote the prompt.
It is difficult to write a character when they are 'out of character' and still retain the essence of that person. Yet, you managed to write this tale in such a way that John's characterization was true from beginning to end. "Even still groggy from the anesthesia and the seizure, John could read an ‘amscray’ when he saw it."
The situation made for a cool plot and your use of each cleverly crafted vignette to reveal more about the Allorans and to explore some of the most intense human experiences was wonderful. I really enjoy the psychological aspects of stories. It was a real treat to read a story which so aptly depicted such raw, intense emotion.
Although I didn't mention it in my prompt, I'm such a sucker for John and Carson scenes in the infirmary. I loved how the story tied in with Carson's experiences and gave John and Carson a chance to work a bit of that out.
Despite the fact that some of the Alloran memories and people were not so pleasant for John, you managed to still convey a sense of loss once the Allorans were gone.
I enjoy all the little references you toss in, too - little hidden gems. I remember Sybil. St. Vitus' jig is very descriptive (and amusingly ironic as St. Vitus is supposed to protect against lightning strikes.)
I just knew John would like that podcar! And it made for a wonderful ending note to the story. The team presence was nice and warm and fuzzy all the way through.
*hugs fic happily*
Thank you very much.
P.S.
As for the this fic being 'tragically late,' it worked in my favor given that I was rather 'tragically late' myself. This way, I managed to finish my writing assignment and have the time I needed to enjoy this story
The picture work on 'Long Ago,' was my pleasure and it sparked a number of interesting creative project ideas for me.
P.P.S. I edited this because I read the story again tonight and wanted to add another comment. As I had mentioned, I love all the little 'gems' in the story. Tonight, I noted another chilling detail. The people chosen to have their patterns saved were described as the 'best and brightest'. That is exactly how Elizabeth described the expedition just before they left for Atlantis. It makes me think twice about all the personalities behind the scenes on Atlantis... Very cool.
Between this and your lovely email, I guess I can accept that you really liked it :) I really and truly wanted this to be super-special, R. You really did such a bang-up job with the pix. I was so pleased when I 'pulled' your name... and then I kinda face-planted on the delivery of the original prompt. I am VERY glad to hear this was ultimately what you had hoped for. I enjoyed the CHALLENGE (oy, was it a challenge :)) but it was all worth it if you enjoyed it. Your feedback was all the gratitude I needed. Thanks!!
It is difficult to write a character when they are 'out of character' and still retain the essence of that person. Yet, you managed to write this tale in such a way that John's characterization was true from beginning to end. "Even still groggy from the anesthesia and the seizure, John could read an ‘amscray’ when he saw it."
The situation made for a cool plot and your use of each cleverly crafted vignette to reveal more about the Allorans and to explore some of the most intense human experiences was wonderful. I really enjoy the psychological aspects of stories. It was a real treat to read a story which so aptly depicted such raw, intense emotion.
Although I didn't mention it in my prompt, I'm such a sucker for John and Carson scenes in the infirmary. I loved how the story tied in with Carson's experiences and gave John and Carson a chance to work a bit of that out.
Despite the fact that some of the Alloran memories and people were not so pleasant for John, you managed to still convey a sense of loss once the Allorans were gone.
I enjoy all the little references you toss in, too - little hidden gems. I remember Sybil. St. Vitus' jig is very descriptive (and amusingly ironic as St. Vitus is supposed to protect against lightning strikes.)
I just knew John would like that podcar! And it made for a wonderful ending note to the story. The team presence was nice and warm and fuzzy all the way through.
*hugs fic happily*
Thank you very much.
P.S.
As for the this fic being 'tragically late,' it worked in my favor given that I was rather 'tragically late' myself. This way, I managed to finish my writing assignment and have the time I needed to enjoy this story
The picture work on 'Long Ago,' was my pleasure and it sparked a number of interesting creative project ideas for me.
P.P.S. I edited this because I read the story again tonight and wanted to add another comment. As I had mentioned, I love all the little 'gems' in the story. Tonight, I noted another chilling detail. The people chosen to have their patterns saved were described as the 'best and brightest'. That is exactly how Elizabeth described the expedition just before they left for Atlantis. It makes me think twice about all the personalities behind the scenes on Atlantis... Very cool.
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