YOUTUBE CLIPS
So The Mummy and The Mummy Returns are movies. This means I will not be pimping them to you, since you can easily go rent them or see them on tv whenever the hell they get screened. But, YouTube has a few scenes up, so if you've not seen it and want to see some, here we go!
These are in completely random order.
- Four clips in one
The following happens in this edited mix:
1) Rick runs into Imhotep (aka the mummy) for the first time, yells at him and shoots him in the face.
2) Rick hunts down Benny and smacks him around. A lot. Chair-throwing might be involved.
3) Imhotep throws up a huge sandstorm, thus Rick would like the plane to go faster plz.
4) Jonathon is an idiot and summons more mummies. Rick accordingly runs the hell away.
- The Mummy opening, part the first
Opening of the film, in which there is a lot of Ancient Egyptian backstory that involves stabbing people and being mummified alive. There is a VERY DRAMATIC NARRATOR!!1
- The Mummy opening, part the second
Rick's intro, involving a big battle at the city of Hamunaptra, lots of pistol fighting, and some sand rape.
- BUGS
This scene is funsies. On the one hand, you have Rick, Evelyn and Jonathon talking mummification before accidentally whacking a sarcophagus out of the ceiling, and on the other hand, you have the fourth member of the group who's name I forget stealing some stuff off a wall before a scarab cracks out of one, burrows into his skin and then eats his brain. GOOD TIMES.
- Rick gets hanged... almost
In which... Rick gets hanged! Evelyn bargains for his life though and they cut him down before he dies. \o/
- I have come to kiss your women while they sleep
In this, Imhotep gets into Evelyn's room by turning himself into sand, then proceeds to kiss her and ROT HIS FACE OFF. Rick barges in, throws a cat at him, and saves the day. Indeed I was not kidding when I said he fights with cats.
- Faito faito
This is the same scene that you get at the end of edited clip I linked above, but this is much longer and shows the whole fight. There is lots of mummy killing, dramatic music, and Jonathon failing at the Egyptian language.
- Evelyn the librarian
My wife is a brilliant librarian. Observe as she completely destroys every bookshelf singlehandedly.
- Evelyn hears noises in the library
Immediately follows last scene. My wife's brother is a dick.
- Benny meets Imhotep
Benny runs into Imhotep and proceeds to invoke every god imaginable to save his own life. One of them actually works.
-----
- Nefertiri vs. Anck-su-namun
So The Mummy Returns is kinda silly and features a lot of PAST LIVES. This scene features Evelyn's past life as the Pharaoh's daughter, Nefertiri, fighting Anck-su-namun in ancient Egyptian battle bikinis. Later she witnesses the same scene from the opening of the first movie. IT'S ALSO GOT ARDETH BAY IN IT AND HE'S VERY HOT. WATCH IT FOR HIM.
- The Mummy Returns opening
IT'S THE ROCK. This time in Egyptian Backstory Land, we find out about the Scorpion King waging war against Thebes, making a deal with Anubis and generally failing at war.
- Golden pyramids and oasises
LOOK GUYS IT'S ARDETH BAY AGAIN. AND AN OASIS. AND A GOLD PYRAMID. OH SHIT A WALL OF WATER IS RAPING OUR DIRIGIBLE.
- Are we theeeeere yeeeeeet
In which Alex (Rick and Evie's son) is very, very annoying.
- Pygmy mummies
Most of this scene features Jonathon being his usual lunatic self, but it also has some plot, and some dynamite.
- Uh...
Basically? Imhotep goes NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. In Egyptian.
It's really hard to find clips that aren't music videos. :/ Will add more if I find them.
These are in completely random order.
- Four clips in one
The following happens in this edited mix:
1) Rick runs into Imhotep (aka the mummy) for the first time, yells at him and shoots him in the face.
2) Rick hunts down Benny and smacks him around. A lot. Chair-throwing might be involved.
3) Imhotep throws up a huge sandstorm, thus Rick would like the plane to go faster plz.
4) Jonathon is an idiot and summons more mummies. Rick accordingly runs the hell away.
- The Mummy opening, part the first
Opening of the film, in which there is a lot of Ancient Egyptian backstory that involves stabbing people and being mummified alive. There is a VERY DRAMATIC NARRATOR!!1
- The Mummy opening, part the second
Rick's intro, involving a big battle at the city of Hamunaptra, lots of pistol fighting, and some sand rape.
- BUGS
This scene is funsies. On the one hand, you have Rick, Evelyn and Jonathon talking mummification before accidentally whacking a sarcophagus out of the ceiling, and on the other hand, you have the fourth member of the group who's name I forget stealing some stuff off a wall before a scarab cracks out of one, burrows into his skin and then eats his brain. GOOD TIMES.
- Rick gets hanged... almost
In which... Rick gets hanged! Evelyn bargains for his life though and they cut him down before he dies. \o/
- I have come to kiss your women while they sleep
In this, Imhotep gets into Evelyn's room by turning himself into sand, then proceeds to kiss her and ROT HIS FACE OFF. Rick barges in, throws a cat at him, and saves the day. Indeed I was not kidding when I said he fights with cats.
- Faito faito
This is the same scene that you get at the end of edited clip I linked above, but this is much longer and shows the whole fight. There is lots of mummy killing, dramatic music, and Jonathon failing at the Egyptian language.
- Evelyn the librarian
My wife is a brilliant librarian. Observe as she completely destroys every bookshelf singlehandedly.
- Evelyn hears noises in the library
Immediately follows last scene. My wife's brother is a dick.
- Benny meets Imhotep
Benny runs into Imhotep and proceeds to invoke every god imaginable to save his own life. One of them actually works.
-----
- Nefertiri vs. Anck-su-namun
So The Mummy Returns is kinda silly and features a lot of PAST LIVES. This scene features Evelyn's past life as the Pharaoh's daughter, Nefertiri, fighting Anck-su-namun in ancient Egyptian battle bikinis. Later she witnesses the same scene from the opening of the first movie. IT'S ALSO GOT ARDETH BAY IN IT AND HE'S VERY HOT. WATCH IT FOR HIM.
- The Mummy Returns opening
IT'S THE ROCK. This time in Egyptian Backstory Land, we find out about the Scorpion King waging war against Thebes, making a deal with Anubis and generally failing at war.
- Golden pyramids and oasises
LOOK GUYS IT'S ARDETH BAY AGAIN. AND AN OASIS. AND A GOLD PYRAMID. OH SHIT A WALL OF WATER IS RAPING OUR DIRIGIBLE.
- Are we theeeeere yeeeeeet
In which Alex (Rick and Evie's son) is very, very annoying.
- Pygmy mummies
Most of this scene features Jonathon being his usual lunatic self, but it also has some plot, and some dynamite.
- Uh...
Basically? Imhotep goes NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. In Egyptian.
It's really hard to find clips that aren't music videos. :/ Will add more if I find them.