Dear Victoria's Secret,
First, may I just say that I don't know if that apostrophe is necessary and honestly I don't care. I realize that bought several items from you a month or so ago during your semi-annual sale. I don't really understand why you keep emailing me. Every single day. Of my life. Sometimes several times a day. I have tried to email you and ask that you stop emailing me, but you have ignored this email. Thanks for that, by the way. Probably you read random livejournals, so this will probably work. Stop emailing me. I don't care that there are only a few days left for free shipping. There have been a few days left for what seems like weeks now, so I don't really believe you and am, as such, willing to risk it. Thanks for your time.