Except I'm not okay
There are very rare occasions when I'm actually grateful to be alone. Like long car trips or empty houses. Because 9/10, only when I know no one is listening can I cry. Not tears, not even sobs but break down and wail. I don't know what it is. Maybe it was growing up in a house where crying like that was seen as a warning sign of some sort of mental imbalance. But every now and then I need to cry like that. I need to be able to scream and wail like an animal until that bottled feeling is completely purged and if someone can hear me, they will ALWAYS beg me to stop.
This last weekend my uncle told me his last test results came in and his T-cell count has dropped below 200. For those of you who don't know too much about HIV, what this means is he is now considered to have full blown Aids. My uncle has been battling HIV for years on top of a brain tumor. For the past five years he's been under heavy stress and strain taking care of my grandparents and also fighting our genetic heartattack time bomb. With so many things to deal with, I suppose it's a wonder it's taken this long for something to break past the standstill...
I've been trying to get together with him so we can hang out. He canceled all three meetings last minute because he was feeling really ill. He told me over the phone the stress was killing him, he kept saying "I just can't take it anymore, you know?" and mentioned his left arm had been feeling numb...
I'm so terrified. So damn terrified.
I don't know or really care how many of your are religious but if you could keep him in your thoughts or prayers I would be very grateful.
This last weekend my uncle told me his last test results came in and his T-cell count has dropped below 200. For those of you who don't know too much about HIV, what this means is he is now considered to have full blown Aids. My uncle has been battling HIV for years on top of a brain tumor. For the past five years he's been under heavy stress and strain taking care of my grandparents and also fighting our genetic heartattack time bomb. With so many things to deal with, I suppose it's a wonder it's taken this long for something to break past the standstill...
I've been trying to get together with him so we can hang out. He canceled all three meetings last minute because he was feeling really ill. He told me over the phone the stress was killing him, he kept saying "I just can't take it anymore, you know?" and mentioned his left arm had been feeling numb...
I'm so terrified. So damn terrified.
I don't know or really care how many of your are religious but if you could keep him in your thoughts or prayers I would be very grateful.