Privacy? Yeah fuckin right.

[everthingtrite]

I hate how I have nothing hidden from my dad, I mean its not on purpose. I try my damn hardest to keep shit from him but with my sister snitching and him snooping through everything on the computer its hard. I cant even leave shit out in my room anymore without him picking it up and reading it. So i have to hide it in boxes WAY under my bed.
Bullshit?
Better believe it.
I got some attitude ALL day long because he looked through my files on the computer, ALL the pictures, everything ive written.
I couldnt believe that, Believe me, I had ALOT of pictures and NOT all of them were meant to be looked at.
I just want to scream at him telling him everything.
How Im not like all the other girls,
Im not afraid of bugs, or bears, or things.
Im not scared of death, or horror movies.
Im scared of men.
I dont like them touching me, Looking at me, even thinking about me.
I dont like being hugged by anyone, not even my father.
This isnt my body,
I dont respect and neither does anyone else for that matter.
It hasnt been mine for some time.
Id gladly give it up if I could.
Because I dont want it.
I dont want the scars, or anything else.
Hes already disappointed in me, and sees me as something he didnt before. To him im different. And honestly I dont give a shit. I havnt cared for a very long time. I dont like it here, one bit. And I hope he knows that one day I blamed myself for it all.
What I do, is because of me. Not anyone else.
I DO NOT need help, I WILL NOT ask for help, and I DONT WANT help at all.
Id like it if everyone would just fuckin leave me alone, but thats too much to ask for apparently.
I hate everything about myself, and no matter how much people tell me differently, I cant believe them.