::Clears Throat::
It seems to me that no matter what I do, he's always gonna get mad at me.
Nothing can ever please him. I take his shit and just send it right back. I'm so far gone now, I've been runnin on empty. Do you wanna take me on? haha Chris called me today. No, first he IMs me to tell me that he is gonna call me... That 'we need to talk'.. mmkay? Why not just call? haha I don't get it. So yea, he calls me and asks me why I act as if I don't care about anything and that I don't care Rachel and him are together. Well, let's see. My heart is numb, I've been doing whatever I want and not having to answer to someone, I've given up on just about everything, I don't trust much of anyone any more. Which is why I talk to my boys! and I talk to Momma.
"Waste your emotions on things that are real."
-Momma
Its fuckin inspirational. I love my mother. She keeps it real and says how it is. This is what she said on my Xanga site..
"Hi everyone. I'm Cara's mom, Marisa. I've got the skinny on all that involves my baby and lately I've been getting a real kick out of all the bullshit you people are trying to put her through. Chris, you never loved my daughter and she knows that now. Asking Rachel out proved to Cara that she never meant much to you. I know my daughter, she tells me everything (at least I'm pretty sure she does "hahaha, I do Momma!" Sure you do Cara!) and I know that Cara really cared for Chris. Cheating is not apart of her nature. She has always been a person for loyalty. Cara's past mistakes have nothing to do with the mistake she made by dating Chris. I personally don't understand why she would waste her time with someone who acts like a little boy from Ohio. That girl of mine has plenty of friends and that is all she needs right now. Real friends. Of course I would never stop her from dating whomever she wanted and I understand that love is love. But Chris, you've broken her heart and I've never seen her like this. She doesn't have a care in the world, and it kind of worries me. I've always taught my daughter to never give up, but I'm afraid her heart finally did. But I'm going to stop rambling on, I know Cara wants her computer back, and so I will leave you with this: Cara is loving, loyal, tries her best to make everyone happy, puts a smile on the saddest of faces, outgoing, at times out spoken ( She is going to kill me when she reads all of this haha ) and yet understanding person and any man would be lucky to have her."
-Words from da Momma
Man, like I said before: I'm not gonna edit anything she wrote. Everything she wrote came from her heart. I was helping her put up her laundry when she was on the computer. Now I'm not saying that everything my mother said is right, but some of it does make since to me. My mother knows me really well, I'm glad we tend to be gettin closer and closer.
Anyways, so I try to explain to Chris that I don't care anymore. I don't feel anything anymore. I have no respect for liars. I've got good people in my life that love me and want to treat me right... they want me around and they care about who I really am. They are honest with me and tell me how they really feel. I just don't wanna fight anymore. Since nothing you really say can hurt me, I'm not gonna bother to try and stoop that low and hurt you. I don't ride like that..
So, the phone call! haha I don't think Chris really said every thing he wanted to say to me. Like he was holding back some things. He only brought up a few things that I knew he would want to ask me about, but I felt like there was more he wanted to say or wanted to know. And his voice.. to me it sounded different. It was Chris, so of course he used the baby voice but when he would just talk... it was different. I don't really know how to explain it haha
Let's see... Right now I'm just sitting here, talkin to Chris, Brandon, and Zack. Listening to The Starting Line, "Best Of Me" love it!! I'm kinda tired.. I haven't been gettin much sleep lately. I might go take a nap here soon.
"Break Up Day"
-The Starting Line
Before the sun is down today
I have a feeling of the
words that she'll say
putting all my feelings to a close
my friends already know
just let me keep my dignity
just say it to my face
or understand
what it's like to give a second chance
we'll see
tonight
I'll stand
In the light
So you can count how many tears fall from my eyes
this time I'll be alright
my heart can't get any worse
Today is just another break up day
It's my least favorite holiday
I think this time I'll stand up for myself
While you sit down
What's gonna happen anyway
I guess it's best you gave up right away
We can't be friends
Moving so fast headed for the end
we're done
tonight
I'll stand
In the light
So you can count how many tears fall from my eyes
this time I'll be alright
my heart can't get any worse
tonight
I'll stand
In the light
So you can count how many tears fall from my eyes
this time I'll be alright
my heart can't get any worse
Thought it sounded kinda nice. Well, at least I can relate to it. I'm not tryin to be mean, really I'm not. Some things do matter to me, I do get eerked sometimes... But I'm not lettin it consume me like I did before. Before I was fighting with every bitch and her sister to get my point across that I was in love. Well, not this time. I'm not living in the past, I'm making my self a future. All you gotta do is tell me or show me that you wanna be apart of it.
Alright well, I'm gonna get goin. Bored out of my mind.
-xoxox
KeEpIn' It SwEet
((you know how I do!))
Nothing can ever please him. I take his shit and just send it right back. I'm so far gone now, I've been runnin on empty. Do you wanna take me on? haha Chris called me today. No, first he IMs me to tell me that he is gonna call me... That 'we need to talk'.. mmkay? Why not just call? haha I don't get it. So yea, he calls me and asks me why I act as if I don't care about anything and that I don't care Rachel and him are together. Well, let's see. My heart is numb, I've been doing whatever I want and not having to answer to someone, I've given up on just about everything, I don't trust much of anyone any more. Which is why I talk to my boys! and I talk to Momma.
"Waste your emotions on things that are real."
-Momma
Its fuckin inspirational. I love my mother. She keeps it real and says how it is. This is what she said on my Xanga site..
"Hi everyone. I'm Cara's mom, Marisa. I've got the skinny on all that involves my baby and lately I've been getting a real kick out of all the bullshit you people are trying to put her through. Chris, you never loved my daughter and she knows that now. Asking Rachel out proved to Cara that she never meant much to you. I know my daughter, she tells me everything (at least I'm pretty sure she does "hahaha, I do Momma!" Sure you do Cara!) and I know that Cara really cared for Chris. Cheating is not apart of her nature. She has always been a person for loyalty. Cara's past mistakes have nothing to do with the mistake she made by dating Chris. I personally don't understand why she would waste her time with someone who acts like a little boy from Ohio. That girl of mine has plenty of friends and that is all she needs right now. Real friends. Of course I would never stop her from dating whomever she wanted and I understand that love is love. But Chris, you've broken her heart and I've never seen her like this. She doesn't have a care in the world, and it kind of worries me. I've always taught my daughter to never give up, but I'm afraid her heart finally did. But I'm going to stop rambling on, I know Cara wants her computer back, and so I will leave you with this: Cara is loving, loyal, tries her best to make everyone happy, puts a smile on the saddest of faces, outgoing, at times out spoken ( She is going to kill me when she reads all of this haha ) and yet understanding person and any man would be lucky to have her."
-Words from da Momma
Man, like I said before: I'm not gonna edit anything she wrote. Everything she wrote came from her heart. I was helping her put up her laundry when she was on the computer. Now I'm not saying that everything my mother said is right, but some of it does make since to me. My mother knows me really well, I'm glad we tend to be gettin closer and closer.
Anyways, so I try to explain to Chris that I don't care anymore. I don't feel anything anymore. I have no respect for liars. I've got good people in my life that love me and want to treat me right... they want me around and they care about who I really am. They are honest with me and tell me how they really feel. I just don't wanna fight anymore. Since nothing you really say can hurt me, I'm not gonna bother to try and stoop that low and hurt you. I don't ride like that..
So, the phone call! haha I don't think Chris really said every thing he wanted to say to me. Like he was holding back some things. He only brought up a few things that I knew he would want to ask me about, but I felt like there was more he wanted to say or wanted to know. And his voice.. to me it sounded different. It was Chris, so of course he used the baby voice but when he would just talk... it was different. I don't really know how to explain it haha
Let's see... Right now I'm just sitting here, talkin to Chris, Brandon, and Zack. Listening to The Starting Line, "Best Of Me" love it!! I'm kinda tired.. I haven't been gettin much sleep lately. I might go take a nap here soon.
"Break Up Day"
-The Starting Line
Before the sun is down today
I have a feeling of the
words that she'll say
putting all my feelings to a close
my friends already know
just let me keep my dignity
just say it to my face
or understand
what it's like to give a second chance
we'll see
tonight
I'll stand
In the light
So you can count how many tears fall from my eyes
this time I'll be alright
my heart can't get any worse
Today is just another break up day
It's my least favorite holiday
I think this time I'll stand up for myself
While you sit down
What's gonna happen anyway
I guess it's best you gave up right away
We can't be friends
Moving so fast headed for the end
we're done
tonight
I'll stand
In the light
So you can count how many tears fall from my eyes
this time I'll be alright
my heart can't get any worse
tonight
I'll stand
In the light
So you can count how many tears fall from my eyes
this time I'll be alright
my heart can't get any worse
Thought it sounded kinda nice. Well, at least I can relate to it. I'm not tryin to be mean, really I'm not. Some things do matter to me, I do get eerked sometimes... But I'm not lettin it consume me like I did before. Before I was fighting with every bitch and her sister to get my point across that I was in love. Well, not this time. I'm not living in the past, I'm making my self a future. All you gotta do is tell me or show me that you wanna be apart of it.
Alright well, I'm gonna get goin. Bored out of my mind.
-xoxox
KeEpIn' It SwEet
((you know how I do!))