This one is for Bruce and a lil sumffin for my baby
Bruce: I never ment to hurt you, I never wanted to. I'm sorry... What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to deny it and keep you in the dark? I think that would have hurt a lot worse. I tried to explain to you that I just didn't see the point. I mean, we don't have time for each other. I just got a new job and I'm not home that much. Its not like I said that just to spite you and I'm not with Chris to upset you. I mean seriously, what's the point in being in a relationship when you have just about nothing to do with them? Its not like I cheated on you or anything, I just found someone that I truly care about and will have time for me. You know how I am: I love being the center of attention, and I just wasn't getting what I needed from you. I wanted it to work, really I did...but I just can't see it. May be later when things are a little less shakey you will be able to talk to me about it and understand. I know that a lot of our not talking was my fault, but hey: you read my livejournal and so when I posted that I was off-grounding, why didn't you call? I don't know when a good time to call you is, so I hope you didn't expect me to call you.
I just really wanna say that I'm sorry and that I wasn't trying to hurt you. Besides, I'm sure you will find a girl that you really care about and will have time for. She'll be able to work around your schedule...me, well darlin': I'm just too greedy for that! lol But nah, just remember that we will still be friends and that you can't predict the future. I mean, I'm extremely happy with my relationship now...we have our ups and downs but we are still there for each other. I'm always gonna be here for you if you need me. If you need advice, someone to talk to, or you just miss me-I'm here for ya! Remember: we were friends before and we can still be friends. I don't wanna fight and I don't wanna hurt you, even though I already have...just know that I never ment to.
And well...now Ima go on to something that is bothering me and I just have to vent it.
No matter what Chris tells me, I really do think he lied to me.
Here's the story:
Chris called me when he got off of work (before he went to work, he and I got in to it and I had hung up on him. So I wasn't all that happy with him anyway.), I really was upset with him but I had missed him SO MUCH all day that I just didn't care. He tells me that he is goin to his g-ma's after work for a hour or two "No big deal" and that he would be home later. Chris told me that his g-ma is losin' her memory and that it is gonna break his heart...so he wanted to see her before that happens. I felt so horrible, my Gran-Daddy went through that and I hated the fact that he couldn't remember me. It hurt alot. So yea, I told him to go spend some good time with his g-ma and to give me a call when he got home...This was around 9:20...I waited until about 12:30 to call him (even though I'm not supposed to 'n which I have already gotten yelled at for this morning), he answers the phone to tell me that he is at the bowlin' alley...double u te eff!?<--(wtf!?) Chris then tries to put me on hold so he could go bowl...and so I hung up. Is he out of his mind? He fuckin' lied to me and then has the nerve to put ME on hold. I wasn't even mad that he went out, but he lied...and that hurts.
Chris IMs me when he gets home, (I waited up until about 2am for him to get home) which was around 3am, and tells me: "i never lied to you baby i went to see my grandma then i went bowlin with the guys right when u called me i just got there
*************** is away at 3:17:32 AM.
*************** (3:19:27 AM): i am sure you hate me but i swear i never lied to you.."
Regardless, he didn't know how to call anybody and tell them that he wouldn't be coming home. He told me a hour or two...from 9pm to 3am is NOT a hour or two. If he really did go see his g-ma, well...good for him but it just pisses me off to end up finding out he was at the bowlin' alley. I could have gone to bed and just talked to him some time today. And I guess he doesn't realize that I read his journal and here is a quote: "so tonite i think its like guys nite out or something who knows" So I already figured he was gonna go out last night anyway... but he didn't have to be shady about it.
Well, he just called me...I'm not too upset with him now. He kinda explained what he did last night...I just wish he would have called me and told me that he was gonna get home late and that he would just call me tomorrow (today). I'm gonna keep everything that I wrote on here before he called me, then may be Chris will think next time. I was just upset because I really missed him, and since we kinda had a little "miscommunication" before he went to work- I didn't want him thinkin' I was still mad at him because I wasn't...Is that too much to ask? To talk to my boyfriend because I miss him more than anything and I wanted him to know that I luv him? I didn't think so...
Well, Ima go.
<3 Chris!
and Bruce: I'm sorry...I hope we can still be friends.
I just really wanna say that I'm sorry and that I wasn't trying to hurt you. Besides, I'm sure you will find a girl that you really care about and will have time for. She'll be able to work around your schedule...me, well darlin': I'm just too greedy for that! lol But nah, just remember that we will still be friends and that you can't predict the future. I mean, I'm extremely happy with my relationship now...we have our ups and downs but we are still there for each other. I'm always gonna be here for you if you need me. If you need advice, someone to talk to, or you just miss me-I'm here for ya! Remember: we were friends before and we can still be friends. I don't wanna fight and I don't wanna hurt you, even though I already have...just know that I never ment to.
And well...now Ima go on to something that is bothering me and I just have to vent it.
No matter what Chris tells me, I really do think he lied to me.
Here's the story:
Chris called me when he got off of work (before he went to work, he and I got in to it and I had hung up on him. So I wasn't all that happy with him anyway.), I really was upset with him but I had missed him SO MUCH all day that I just didn't care. He tells me that he is goin to his g-ma's after work for a hour or two "No big deal" and that he would be home later. Chris told me that his g-ma is losin' her memory and that it is gonna break his heart...so he wanted to see her before that happens. I felt so horrible, my Gran-Daddy went through that and I hated the fact that he couldn't remember me. It hurt alot. So yea, I told him to go spend some good time with his g-ma and to give me a call when he got home...This was around 9:20...I waited until about 12:30 to call him (even though I'm not supposed to 'n which I have already gotten yelled at for this morning), he answers the phone to tell me that he is at the bowlin' alley...double u te eff!?<--(wtf!?) Chris then tries to put me on hold so he could go bowl...and so I hung up. Is he out of his mind? He fuckin' lied to me and then has the nerve to put ME on hold. I wasn't even mad that he went out, but he lied...and that hurts.
Chris IMs me when he gets home, (I waited up until about 2am for him to get home) which was around 3am, and tells me: "i never lied to you baby i went to see my grandma then i went bowlin with the guys right when u called me i just got there
*************** is away at 3:17:32 AM.
*************** (3:19:27 AM): i am sure you hate me but i swear i never lied to you.."
Regardless, he didn't know how to call anybody and tell them that he wouldn't be coming home. He told me a hour or two...from 9pm to 3am is NOT a hour or two. If he really did go see his g-ma, well...good for him but it just pisses me off to end up finding out he was at the bowlin' alley. I could have gone to bed and just talked to him some time today. And I guess he doesn't realize that I read his journal and here is a quote: "so tonite i think its like guys nite out or something who knows" So I already figured he was gonna go out last night anyway... but he didn't have to be shady about it.
Well, he just called me...I'm not too upset with him now. He kinda explained what he did last night...I just wish he would have called me and told me that he was gonna get home late and that he would just call me tomorrow (today). I'm gonna keep everything that I wrote on here before he called me, then may be Chris will think next time. I was just upset because I really missed him, and since we kinda had a little "miscommunication" before he went to work- I didn't want him thinkin' I was still mad at him because I wasn't...Is that too much to ask? To talk to my boyfriend because I miss him more than anything and I wanted him to know that I luv him? I didn't think so...
Well, Ima go.
<3 Chris!
and Bruce: I'm sorry...I hope we can still be friends.