Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Cocksucker Motherfucker Tits
My brain is slightly hazed by nicotine right now, and in the haze, I remembered that I still have this thing. I might as well use it every now and then rather than merely checking my friends page every day or so to see if anyone I know out in the land of the interwubs has any semblance of a life.
I've started smoking while sober again in the last few days. I don't really know why. I bought a pack the other day while walking to visit the lady I've started seeing. She's a smoker, so I guess I thought that if I had some it would give me something to do while she smoked. Of course, she told me that she'd quit provided I didn't start, but, hey, I don't think that would happen. It's quite nice having the numb feeling that nicotine gives you again. It could tempt me to go and find everything else I've given up in the past few years while I transformed into a boring old fart.
I originally quit for two reasons; two packs a week equaled the cost of enough booze to get me trashed at home at least once (or to eat for an extra day or two), which on a student budget is quite important, and I kept getting quite sick on a regular basis (my irrational fear of death was a minor factor as well, but who's counting?). Now that I should have finished university the cost isn't as much of a factor, and I've been living in a house where a thousand nations of the fungal empire aren't blocking out the sun with their spores on a daily basis for about a year, so my health isn't as much of an issue. I don't really want to start again, but fuck me if it doesn't feel good. The fact that Marlboro, my brand, is one of the most addictive around is kind of a problem though.
I have one more exam, and provided I haven't fucked up too bad, I should be able to walk away with the letters BCS attached to my name. Meaning if I lose the C somewhere it doesn't really matter as I have a spare. My worry at this time is actually finding a job. I need to get around to updating my CV and portfolio so I can start shopping around at advertising agencies (since I worked out I might have a chance there), before I go and lower my standards. I'm half expecting that my pure lack of motivation and love of taking whatever falls in my lap will result in me running a McDonald's or some crap in the long term though.
That's all I feel about talking about right now. Fuck y'all
[edit] Requescat in Pace, George Carlin
[edit, the second] Fuck Seasonal Affective Disorder
I've started smoking while sober again in the last few days. I don't really know why. I bought a pack the other day while walking to visit the lady I've started seeing. She's a smoker, so I guess I thought that if I had some it would give me something to do while she smoked. Of course, she told me that she'd quit provided I didn't start, but, hey, I don't think that would happen. It's quite nice having the numb feeling that nicotine gives you again. It could tempt me to go and find everything else I've given up in the past few years while I transformed into a boring old fart.
I originally quit for two reasons; two packs a week equaled the cost of enough booze to get me trashed at home at least once (or to eat for an extra day or two), which on a student budget is quite important, and I kept getting quite sick on a regular basis (my irrational fear of death was a minor factor as well, but who's counting?). Now that I should have finished university the cost isn't as much of a factor, and I've been living in a house where a thousand nations of the fungal empire aren't blocking out the sun with their spores on a daily basis for about a year, so my health isn't as much of an issue. I don't really want to start again, but fuck me if it doesn't feel good. The fact that Marlboro, my brand, is one of the most addictive around is kind of a problem though.
I have one more exam, and provided I haven't fucked up too bad, I should be able to walk away with the letters BCS attached to my name. Meaning if I lose the C somewhere it doesn't really matter as I have a spare. My worry at this time is actually finding a job. I need to get around to updating my CV and portfolio so I can start shopping around at advertising agencies (since I worked out I might have a chance there), before I go and lower my standards. I'm half expecting that my pure lack of motivation and love of taking whatever falls in my lap will result in me running a McDonald's or some crap in the long term though.
That's all I feel about talking about right now. Fuck y'all
[edit] Requescat in Pace, George Carlin
[edit, the second] Fuck Seasonal Affective Disorder