Five Reasons I Hate Mike Huckabee
Meet Michael Dale Huckabee.
He's an ordained Southern Baptist minister, a former Arkansas governor, a bassist in the rock band Capitol Offense ("Capitol" -- get it. Oh, what witty wordplay) and now, he's a Republican candidate for the 2008 presidential election.
Let's get to know him a little better, shall we?
5. Mike Huckabee made a, "conscious attempt to keep the state police from investigating his son" David Huckabee after it came to light that his darling little boy had hanged, stoned and slit the throat of a stray dog.
4. Mike Huckabee aggressively pushed for the release convicted rapist Wayne DuMond. A mere year after DuMond's released, he raped and murdered two different women -- Carol Sue Shields and Sara Andresek. At the time of her death, Andresek was pregnant with her first child.
3. Mike Huckabee equates homosexuality with bestiality. This statement is so stupid that I can't wrap my mind around it.
2. Mike Huckabee doesn't believe in evolution. Bill Maher makes a great point here -- "If someone believes the earth is 6000 years old when every scientist in the world tells us it's billions of years old, why shouldn't I take that into account when I'm assessing the rationality of someone I'm going to put in the highest office in the land."
Huck's response? "We really don't know."
Well, Huckster? There's more proof and a much more reasonable argument for evolution than there is for creationism. Just sayin', guy.
1. Mike Huckabee thinks contraception is akin to abortion. Let me make that crystal clear for you -- Mike Huckabee thinks birth control pills, the patch, the nuva ring and the IUD are all forms of abortion.
Wait a second. WHAT?! In what universe does that even begin to make sense?
Now, let's say you've got the IQ of a head of lettuce and actually buy into this idiocy, you've got to be fair, right?
If contraceptives are akin to abortions, so is male masturbation. The sin of onanism, folks. If you're jerkin' your gherkin, you're spilling your seed and destroying thousands-upon-thousands of would-be babies.
Think about that for a second before you get all gung-ho with the contraceptives-as-abortions movement.
In short, Mike Huckabee is a lunatic, a theocrat (truly dangerous in a free society) and should be kept as far away from the American political system as humanly possible.